A New Season

Over the past eighteen months, my focus has changed and blogging seems to have taken a back seat. At this point, I am not sure which direction it will take into the future, but did not want to throw out these posts with the updating of the website, so here they still sit. Every now and then, I take a dive back in to some and am often surprised at the clarity, albeit in hindsight. I hope some others may equally enjoy the foray into the past, much of which is really quite timeless. Meanwhile, please keep in touch, either through events I am running or just drop me a line!

2023 - Coming, ready or not!

Are you ready to go?

Looking back over my new year posts from the last few years, (you can check a couple of pertinent ones out HERE, HERE and HERE) it seems quite plain that these years have been times of preparation, times of cleaning out the old, the unnecessary, the unhelpful, or just plain past their “use by” date. For many of us, we have been doing this in the physical, the emotional and the spiritual. It might be ways of doing church, ways of thinking or seeing, how we do relationship, even how we process life and our circumstances, or simply that jar of Vegemite still at the back of the pantry with “Best Before Sept 2008” on it that we have been dealing with. However, I believe we are at the tail end of this process and now it is time to move.

A couple of months back, as I went through my morning routine, the words “boots on the ground” randomly popped into my mind. With it was the sense that “it’s time”, that it is now. It has become the theme of my latest painting (still in process, but you can see the central portion here), and I have been ruminating on it since: “what does this look like for me, Lord?”

Getting “boots on the ground” was a term associated with the armed forces, but like many such terms, we have widely expanded its use. One dictionary source explains it to mean

“people who are physically present in a place doing the work to achieve something”*

which resonates deeply with what I perceive God is saying in this season. The picture I see is like a board game, where He has put all the pieces and parts into place and set up it all up, and now it is time to start playing for real.

Most of us are well aware of the analogy of the church as an army. More often than not it has had negative connotations. Countless individuals, groups, governments and everyone in between have abused this concept to justify many an atrocity over the centuries. However, here we can focus on the positive side of what it means to be serving in God’s army.

First and foremost, an army has authority to carry out the activities assigned to them. Not more, and not less. That in itself is a bit confronting.

Secondly, an army has tactics. Ours are to look like outrageous, unconditional love and generosity in the face of those we see as our enemies. God continuously invites us to respond in love and generosity no matter how badly we are treated. And, of course, the fruit of the Spirit are always available in unlimited measure, as long as we keep the supply chain clear – get rid of all bitterness, rage, malice, envy, hatred, unforgiveness…these are the disobediences that grieve our Lord the most.

For an army to perform well, we must ruthlessly eliminate self-protection and self-promotion. Both these lead to a continuation of failure, and defeat by the enemy of our souls as he whispers in our ears then steps back and allows us to destroy ourselves and each other by our unhelpful responses to any perceived misdemeanour from another.

We must put our money where our mouth is and trust God both to position us correctly and to be our protection where He places us. We must turn from (repent!) transactional relationship (where I will only support, love, encourage, help you if you do right by me – if you offend or hurt me, I will happily disconnect at least at some level from relationship with you), and turn to covenantal relationship, where I choose (covenant) to respond lovingly no matter what, and will actively pursue relationship with those who offend me. (OUCH!)

Finally, taking a quick dive into Ephesians 6, (one of the most examined passages about the spiritual war we are in), given the repetitive use of the verb, “stand” (four times in some translations), it might be inferred that our main action in the battle is simply to stand firm. We are to stand firstly with the belt of truth firmly buckled around our waist – perhaps holding the rest in! And an important aspect of the truth we need to hold on to, one which the enemy will repeatedly attack, is around our identity in Christ.

When we have a deep understanding and belief about the fact that we can have the fullness of Christ dwelling in us (see Eph 3:14-19), meaning that we have everything that He has at our disposal, the enemy knows we will be unstoppable. If we are not secure in this knowledge, it is a prime weakness that impacts every other area of our lives. If you are struggling to live out of this knowledge, ask Him to show you what is blocking you from agreeing with Him on it and how to deal with it. It may be breaking another agreement you have made, either with an emotion (the idea that the emotion tells you the truth), or some other lie, or it may be someone you need to forgive – or both. It is time to clean out this stuff, so that we can run the race unhindered and light on our feet.

There is so much more coming in the year to come. Have you got your rucksack packed? It’s time to finish with boot camp and it’s time to march out. Get excited, because this is what you have been training for!

“Finally, grow powerful in union with the Lord, in union with his mighty strength! Use all the armour and weaponry that God provides, so that you will be able to stand against the deceptive tactics of the Adversary. For we are not struggling against human beings, but against the rulers, authorities and cosmic powers governing this darkness, against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realm. So take up every piece of war equipment God provides; so that when the evil day comes, you will be able to resist; and when the battle is won, you will still be standing. Therefore, stand! Have the belt of truth buckled around your waist, put on righteousness for a breastplate, and wear on your feet the readiness that comes from the Good News of shalom. Always carry the shield of trust, with which you will be able to extinguish all the flaming arrows of the Evil One. And take the helmet of deliverance; along with the sword given by the Spirit, that is, the Word of God; as you pray at all times, with all kinds of prayers and requests, in the Spirit, vigilantly and persistently, for all God’s people.” (Eph 6:10-18, CJB)

*www.dictionary.cambridge.org/dictionary/english

Peace on earth and goodwill to all people?

Christmas is traditionally a time where many people around the world celebrate the promise of peace associated with the coming of Messiah, who carries the additional title of Prince of Peace. Even in the midst of the terrible battles of World War 1, somewhere deep in the soldiers’ being was the sense that Christmas Day was a day for peace. On the 25th December 1914, British and German soldiers at the front ended up exchanging gifts and souvenirs, taking photos, singing songs and even playing a game of football together!

We all long for peace. As people of faith, Jesus promised peace many times, from verses such as John 14:27, “My peace I give to you, my peace I leave with you”, or Galatians 5:22, reminding us that peace is a quintessential part of the fruit of the Spirit. However, with all that is going on in the world, many of us struggle to find peace. If Jesus promised it for us, why do we seem to lose it so easily? And how do we have peace in the light of all that is not right?

A few days ago we returned from a quick trip to Uganda. Only short weeks out from Christmas, not to mention on the tail of the global upheaval caused by a tiny microorganism, travelling nearly halfway around the globe we had a plethora of opportunities to experience a lack of peace. From uncertainty about our first time out of the country in more than three years, where so much had changed, to the issue of whether our luggage would arrive with us, to finding ways to rest on a thirty plus hour journey; from food challenges and finding “places of convenience” (not to mention the level of confrontation we might find there, because, lets face it, sometimes PPE, a mask and gumboots are looking like serious options when travelling in developing countries!), to the threat of malaria weighed in with the side effects of antimalarials, not to mention driving in some very adverse conditions - so many cracks and crevices for our peace to leak out through.

Early on in our trip, I became aware of some background anxiety and pre-planning going on in my head about how I would manage such pre-empted issues around each upcoming day. I had a sudden realisation that I was trying to deal with this in my own strength and that I didn’t need to. I remembered that I could leave these things with my Heavenly Father, and that He would sort it all out for me. As I did that, I found that sometimes the situation would be well above my expectations, or that He had gone ahead and would provide the right opportunities or answers where I needed them.

A great example of the way God went ahead of us came very early on with our car hire. Five years ago, we had hired a Rav4 through a small company (there are no large car hire companies in Uganda), which was great, so we contacted them again. The day we arrived, the gentleman meeting us with the car apologised. The Rav4 had had “issues” that morning, so they had upgraded us for no extra cost to a Prado with eight seats, which had also been lifted to have greater clearance. This car proved invaluable so many times on our trip, from driving through boggy goat trails to a village, to being able to take quite a few others with us numerous times, to just our general comfort on some longer trips on often quite bad roads. And of course, functioning air conditioning was an absolute blessing, especially in the notorious Kampala traffic.

The added blessing of this vehicle was such a definite message from God that He was with us, that He knew all our needs (and even cared about our “would likes”). In acknowledging this was from God, it further expanded our faith, and hence, our peace. “Dad’s here, He’s got it all sorted ahead of time, just go for the ride with Him.”

Over the past couple of years, many of us have had ample opportunity to have our cracks and crevices where peace can leak out exposed – those places in our being where we are far more focussed on doing than be-ing, those areas where situations in the past have hurt and disappointed us and we are sure that this will be another, or even where fear still has a stronghold in our lives. In my journey through this season, when I have found myself short on peace God has been reminding me to go back to the place where I lost my peace. It is usually easy to pinpoint the moment. And so, I go back there and maybe forgive the person whose behaviour or words created the crack for my peace to leak out, or break my agreements with the fear that came from some source or other I had interacted with and sent it all back where it came from, in Jesus’ name. And wonderfully, my peace returns to me.

If you are in a place this Christmas where peace seems hard to find, let me encourage you that in Creator God, the source of all peace, there is an endless supply. Meet with Him today. Ask Him where you left your peace and who you need to forgive and/or what agreements you need to break. And may this season be one in which your peace deepens immeasurably and expands out to those around you.

Diaspora: Scattering the Seeds of Promise

In my journey more recently, I have felt prompted by God to not just write about the pictures and insights He gives me, but to also put them into picture form. The material for this blog comes from two such incidents with the Lord.

The first was reading James 1, where the word “diaspora” jumped out at me. Its root meaning is to scatter, and the painting is a representation of what I sensed. The second situation was making marmalade from some grapefruit I picked up from a food swap. Three small grapefruit were full of more seeds than I’ve ever seen, in fact, by my reckoning, there were probably around 100. As I have sat with these two messages about seeds, this is where I have landed.

DIASPORA – The Scattering

Many of us have felt scattered in the last couple of years. However, I believe the Lord is within the scattering, and if we are willing to partner with Him, He is using it so His people can take the DNA of His Kingdom out with them to wherever they land. It may be uncomfortable and not what we would really like, but it is time to let go, just like the seed in the seed head. To stay is counterproductive.

We may have thought we were blooming where we were planted, but this was just the beginning. That season has ended, and now a new one begins.

And the seeds we are carrying are abundant in number and extremely fruitful, “bearing one hundred, sixty or thirty times more”, (Mark 4:20). The growth in productiveness will be exponential. The words He gave me were that these were “Seeds of Promise”. Romans 8:24 also came to mind: “But hope that is seen is no hope at all. Who hopes for what they already have?” The promise will come because “He who promised is faithful”, (Hebrews 10:23). The seeds are not the end product, but hold promise for what will come (the fruit) and these seeds (His blueprints, ideas, new placements) come with a promise of great fruitfulness, if we are willing to step out into the new.

So, don’t fight the scattering, little seeds, but go out, knowing He is with you and He is for you, and where He takes you, He will provide. He is expanding His people explosively. The stretching can feel painful and scary, but in the stretching there is multiplication. And while you might feel like a little shrivelled seed, and while it might feel like dying, remember two things. First, our Lord Jesus said “Unless a seed falls into the ground and dies it bears no fruit” (John 12:24). Secondly, while we might be able to count the number of seeds in a piece of fruit, no one knows how many fruit are in each one of those seeds. His call to each of us is, “Go forth and multiply!”

A New Government

The last few of years have seen a heightened degree of interest at a global level around many national elections aligned with increasing disillusion with the establishment. Last weekend, here in Australia it was our turn.

Although it may appear that we just changed horses, and many feel quite concerned about the outcome, a couple of days before the election I felt that peace beyond understanding creep over me. Exploring what this meant I sensed God saying that the outcome of the voting was largely inconsequential in comparison to what He is doing.

Musing over this alongside my observations of various groups lobbying for this right and that, or for laws to be changed or repealed, I have questioned my involvement and the importance of our activity in these arenas. My journey through these thoughts has taken a few twists and turns, however and I have landed with a quite different perspective. Rather than trying to change our earthly governments directly, I see the concept of what it means for us, as Christians, to rule and reign with Jesus here on earth as being far more important.

I have long felt that simply changing laws to be more in line with “Christian values” only delays the inevitable as society has continued on its merry, progressive way, leaving behind faith and the fear of the Lord as outdated and irrelevant. The law tries to transform from the outside in, but to my mind, what is far more necessary and effective for the transformation of our society is the transformation of our hearts. Indeed, with transformed hearts, laws mostly become irrelevant. As Paul said, in Romans 8:10, “Love does not do harm to a neighbour; therefore love is the fullness of the law.” And hence, my sense that who is governing is irrelevant in many aspects.

The point is, as I have discussed previously, while we operate out of the tree of the knowledge of good and evil, right and wrong or judgement, we can never truly love each other. It will always come back to self interest, to blame and to death and destruction. For all our Christian faith,

if we have not learned to live out of the law of love, we will never be world changers.

Returning to the idea of governance, I felt a really deep revelation over the weekend that I believe is quintessential to the way ahead. It is a totally different way of fighting, but oh so much more profitable, so much more bang for our buck. In this past season/era, we have done so much of our fighting in the natural realm, which is only really like a bandaid on a shark bite at best to what ails our world - so often completely ineffective.

So how do we fight differently?

Many Christians I know can quite easily quote Ephesians 6:12:

“For our battle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, authorities and powers of this dark world and against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms.”

However, in the main, we give every appearance of constantly viewing other people as our enemy, and we behave accordingly. We fight people. We can’t see past the behaviour to the person underneath whom Jesus loves so much He died for them. And He commands us to do likewise.

Love God, love your neighbour as yourself – it is that simple and that hard!

Working out what that love actually looks like probably needs to be on a case-by-case basis, but a good rule of thumb is that our response is patient, is kind, does not does not envy; or parade itself, is not arrogant; does not behave rudely, does not seek its own, is not provoked, thinks no evil; does not rejoice in iniquity, but rejoices in the truth; it bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things. It never fails. (1 Corinthians 13, NKJV)

The real clincher for me, though, was realising how we are to rule and reign in this new era. As I have contemplated this for some months now, and seeing God bringing down old structures and ways, I have wondered what the new might look like. Last weekend, I feel I was handed a key.

It is about our dominion over the spiritual realm. However, there is many a caution here. We cannot and must not even try to do this in our own strength or without walking closely with Holy Spirit in the how and when. Equally, though, there are some very easy and clear indicators of what it looks like.

First, there is a sequence to the level of our authority. The primary and most important area of authority we have is one that every person on the planet has, no matter their spiritual state:

Authority over self.

This is so important because if we haven’t learned to take authority here, our authority in other realms can easily be skewed or twisted and cause more damage than good. The enemy of our souls looks for these areas in our life and uses them to his advantage. Having the right order within our BE-ing is equally important: our spirit needs to take command over our soul and flesh/body. My flesh and soul will demand loudly what they want and need for their appeasement, but this is usually out of sync with the law of love, because they tend to put self ahead of others.

The second area of authority is our homes and relationships, especially in relationships such as with our children. We get to say what operates in those arenas without doubt. The only times that this won’t work is when we haven’t taken authority in our own person over the same issue. For example, I can’t expect to take authority over anger, or shame, or condemnation in my home if I don’t take authority over the way I deal with anger, shame or condemnation in myself.

From there, we move out into our community and beyond as we grow in spiritual stature.

But what does it look like? Simply casting out demons is not the answer (remember the idea of cleaning the house and seven worse spirits coming in?) and besides, it can be very dangerous if we fight above the authority God has given us personally.

There is a very simple measure, though, which is extremely powerful. It starts with the fruit of the spirit. As we manifest the fruit of Holy Spirit – love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, self-control – these have the power to overcome many other spiritual manifestations.

At times it will require us to lay down our lives, if not physically, definitely emotionally and spiritually. However, as we do, as we cease to respond to negative behaviour and situations in kind, but in the opposite spirit, we first learn to carry the victory of Jesus Christ in ourself, and then on into our communities and beyond. As we respond in Godly ways, we actually start to change the atmosphere around us and rather than increasing the negativity around us, will start to cleanse and bless it for Kingdom of God change.

A great insight into this comes from Roy Godwin (The Grace Outpouring), who has practiced this with amazing results in his local community by simply blessing his community with every good thing. At first, this is very confronting. In our minds, we believe that “bad people” don’t deserve blessing; they deserve punishment. Just like I did or do – I’m not perfect yet! And yet Scripture tells us that it is God’s kindness that leads us to repentance, (Romans 2:4). Not His wrath. So why do we keep looking to wrath and punishment as the answer? It is not our job to judge or meet out judgement or punishment. Our investment in ourselves is far too comprehensive to do it with any measure of justice, let alone the fact that this type of judgement is not what God has meted out to us.

Changing the spiritual atmosphere in our world may seem like a daunting or even impossible task. However, I am seeing more and more clearly that we are only required to step out into this in the degree Holy Spirit asks us to at the time we are asked. Sometimes it might be as simple and helping or encouraging someone in the street. Sometimes it might be singing or humming worship and praise as we go about our daily activities in the world. Other times it might be something more overt, praying for someone, or some activity. Personally, I use the sound of sirens – ambulance or other – as a prompt to pray and speak out life over whatever is going on, be that an accident, illness or other. The challenge is not how much we do, but to start, to do something. It may be a little awkward or uncomfortable at first, but as we learn to operate under Holy Spirit’s guidance, we find that those promptings yield fruit, which further encourages us to take the next step and the next step.

So here is the challenge: What is the next step the Lord is asking you to take in ruling and reigning for the Kingdom of God? Ask Holy Spirit to show you, and then simply step out. I’d love to hear your experiences!

(And if you have questions about what any of this looks like, please ask!)

“For to us a child is born, to us a son is given, and the government will be on his shoulders. And he will be called Wonderful Counsellor, Mighty God, Everlasting Father, Prince of Peace. Of the greatness of his government and peace there will be no end.” (Is 9:6-7 NIVUK)

If you want to investigate more on this theme, you can purchase a copy of “Untruth: Exploring Truth in a Post-Truth World” on my home page.

Travelling Lightly: What you need to ditch for 2022 (Part 2)

It has taken me some time to land this second part of examining what I believe we need to get rid of this year. It has been difficult because I am still somewhat unresolved around it myself. It is an issue that seems to permeate every aspect of life and is quite possibly a major root to many problems in our world. Unfortunately, it doesn’t seem to be something we can just “turn off”. Indeed, it is a powerful protection mechanism we use at every level. And given that it’s outworking ultimately leads to death, perhaps the midst of Lent is a very appropriate time to discuss it.

Judgement.

We are all familiar with Jesus’ words about this, even if we know little else He said:

“Judge not, that ye be not judged”

(Matt 7:1).

It has become very much a catch cry of this generation. Words such as, “Ooo, judgy”, or “don’t be so judgemental” get thrown around for the simple “sin” of giving my view about something or someone’s actions.

But we need judgement and its close relative, discernment every day.

Just think. You take that food out of the fridge and sniff it cautiously, making a judgement on whether it is still good to eat. Or those socks or other items of clothing on your teenager’s floor – are they really dirty, or just clean laundry that never made it to the wardrobe? Again, the sniff test…or maybe not! We make judgements about what we will wear or do according to the weather. When I am crossing the road, I make a judgement whether I can get across before that car comes. We make judgements moment by moment about whether or not a fight for something we value is worth the effort, along with our judgement of the level of hope we have of winning. You get the idea. Our judgements can mean the difference between life and death…And they can also make and break relationships.

In trying to determine where the line between what is acceptable and what is not in the realm of judgement, a few points have come across my path in the last while.

The first is that the gift of discernment (the ability to see clearly what is going on in a situation) is not there to bring judgement onto people, but to give accuracy in how to pray. Hmmm…when was the last time that prayer was my first response to a sticky situation? And did I stop long enough to listen to God’s answer to me??

The second is that when we cast judgement in a situation, we actually start to take responsibility for the outcome of that situation. That is, we are basically making a declaration that we know what is wrong, therefore we know what is right, leading to us supposedly having the wisdom and ability to fix what we see as wrong. I found this thought very impacting. I mean, who wants to take that sort of responsibility for everyone else? It is hard enough doing it for myself!!

This leads me back to two other aspects that are closely related.

Returning to my last blog, identity is central to this. Knowing who I am and what my role is (and isn’t!) will impact greatly on what I take responsibility for.

The other aspect is the continuing focus on the knowledge of good and evil. Judgement sits smack bang in the middle of this. Whether we acknowledge it (or like it!), for better or worse, we continually make judgements about what is right or wrong, what is good or evil. In every culture in the world, down to every relationship, we have beliefs and understandings around this. The big issue is, what is the alternative? (Shameless plug - if you want to delve a bit deeper into this, check out my new book, “Untruth: Exploring truth in a post-truth world”.)

It reminds me of the scene in the book (and movie), “The Shack” (William P. Young), where Mack is talking with Wisdom. In answer to his question of what he is doing there, she answers: “You’re here for judgement…today, you are the judge.” As they explore the ultimate consequences of judgement – judging who should go to hell, she asks Mack to judge his own children. On his response of “take me instead”, he is told that he has judged well; that he has judged his children worthy of love.

For me, this is really the landing point of what to do with judgement.

Moving into this year, I have had a growing conviction that we should at least severely curtail our propensity to sit in judgement of others and particularly situations where we have little firsthand knowledge of the circumstances. As we do, we lay down the burden of responsibility as well. The reality is, Jesus has already taken responsibility for every person’s sin and brokenness on the cross. We cannot do more. We cannot fix others better than that, either. As we step away from that responsibility, we find space for the freedom to step into the responsibility we have been given: to love my neighbour as myself.

And coming back to Mack, and what Jesus, again, has already done, we are to judge each person, every single one on this planet, as worthy of love. As we reach out in unconditional love to those around us, even when, or perhaps especially when they do wrong by us, we free ourselves from the terrible responsibility of not only fixing them, but also of deciding when they have been punished enough. When we realise the limitations of our accountability to each other, and allow, or understand more completely, that God is the only One who judges perfectly, we are set free to get on with the business of working with Him to grow us to maturity, just as He will with others.

Tying this all together with our identity, I am reminded again of several scriptures I believe have a great impact on our understanding of our faith. In I John 4:19, we are told that we love because God first loved us. For sometime now, I have connected this with Revelations 2:4, regarding the loss of our first love – that we are cautioned against forgetting that any capacity we have to love others, even God, must come from our capacity to first receive His love for us. It is from our experience of being loved by God that we can, in turn, love others. This is very much tied in with 1 Corinthians 13, where we are told that, without love as the motivating force, anything we do for others or for God is worthless.

As we continue into this year ahead, my prayer is that, as the people of God, we would find our true identity in Him, even as we are filled to overflowing with His amazing, abundant love for us, which in turn, enables us to truly judge others just as worthy of love and love them accordingly.

Further thoughts, questions, or disagreements with anything here? Feel free to drop a line in the comments.

Travelling Lightly: What you need to ditch for 2022 (Part 1)

One of the biggest weights most of us carry is that of our identity. And I believe one of the most transformative actions we can engage in for ourselves and the world around us is to let it go. And I also believe that it is more important than ever to do this.

But what does it mean to let go of our identity?

So many of our interactions with the world and each other clog up our identity. What others around us reflect back to us, our experiences through life and even our theology all greatly impact our sense of who we are. “Shoulds”, “should haves”, “could haves” and “would haves”, as well as a host of other regrets, incriminations and put downs that the enemy loves to use to keep us trapped, take over our being until we feel depleted, unworthy and empty.

How then, does letting go of my identity fill me up?

This is an ongoing journey with a number of layers.

In the first instance, it may be about letting go of the identities we have picked up from others, or even our beliefs about what it means to be a Christian or, indeed, any other label we have placed on ourselves. Mother, sister, brother, teacher, accountant, the brainy one, the dumb one, the good one, the bad one. Even those things we feel good about can become a hindrance. Just another standard we have to keep up to. And sometimes we have played roles for so long, and invested so much into them that we no longer really know who we are.

Another aspect is our preparedness to be vulnerable.

This has been a theme for some time now. The idea of being unveiled or removing the masks we hide behind has cropped up more times than I can remember. I recently came across an album called “Road to DeMaskUs”. It immediately caught my attention as it linked in with so many discussions over the last year or so that seem to constantly land on this same point around identity.

Thinking about the connotations of the road to Damascus, about Paul’s journey which began in earnest there, it was indeed a time of “de-masking” for him. The change was extraordinary, and even led to a name change. In Philippians 3:8, after sharing his worldly credentials, he actually says that they are all dung, refuse, sewerage compared to gaining Jesus. Paul was prepared to get rid of everything rather than it hindering his relationship with the Messiah.

This is something I have been pondering for some time: what it looks like to completely abandon all that our culture considers rights and freedom; what it looks like to completely lay down my life – my identities, including my ego – to the point where I have and am nothing, so that He, living in me, is all.

Many of our identity ideas connect to our will. What we will, desire, want is our way of asserting our identity as an individual. However, I am sensing more and more that so much of this can actually come between us and God. It is an add on.

In the wonderful passage of John 15, where Jesus describes how we are to abide in Him as branches joined in to Him - and if branches, then we must identify with or even as Him, with His life force growing and developing in us, His DNA becomes ours. As He continues, discussing our relationship with each other, He talks of “laying down our lives” for each other.

Doing a quick word search into the original language, the word translated “life” could also refer to “soul”, meaning our heart, our passions, our will and desires. Sounds like our identity to me. In our individualistic society, that’s a pretty tall order! How many of us are willing to put others ahead of us to that degree?

And yet, in our relationship with Jesus, we know this is what He requires. How successful we are is a whole other discussion.

“If anyone would come after me, let him deny himself and take up his cross and follow me. For whoever would save his life [IDENTITY] will lose it, but whoever loses his life [IDENTITY] for my sake will find it. For what will it profit a man if he gains the whole world and forfeits his soul [IDENTITY]? Or what shall a man give in return for his soul [IDENTITY]?”

(Matt 16:24-26, ESV).

Am I prepared to become nothing, no one, in order to increase in oneness with Jesus? Just as John the Baptiser said, “It is necessary for him to increase and for me to decrease” (John 3:30 TPT). The only way I can become one with Jesus is for me to decrease. He certainly won’t! And yet, we are told that this is the place in which we truly find abundant life and freedom.

In my own journey, the rubber has really been hitting the road with this in the last couple of years. It is in those places of rejection, lack of acknowledgement, hurt, disappointment, those places where it feels as though I am nothing, worthless - this is the place where I have a huge choice in front of me. Will I try to get vindication, validation from others? Will I come out fighting for my honour and reputation? Do I try to show everyone that you are the bad person, that I am the victim? Or can I lay myself down, allow myself to be crucified as it were? Do I trust all these things to God, even trust that He is in the middle of it all and has a purpose for it - my becoming more like Jesus?

No, it is not easy. Yes, it can be excruciatingly lonely. And no, many will not get it. After all, He did say “but it is a narrow gate and a hard road that leads to life, and only a few find it” (Matt 7:14 CJB). Why do I keep thinking, or hoping, it will somehow be different for me?

May 2022 be the year each of us lays down our identities, our egos and our wills to His for the sake of the Kingdom, each other and our world. Imagine the difference it would make. But it starts with me and it starts with you!

Are you ready for another new year?

As I spent some time reflecting on the passing year yesterday, I was feeling a bit like it might go out with more of the proverbial whimper rather than a bang. Thinking back to this time last year when so many were hopeful that 2021 would be “better” than 2020, it could be easy to feel as though we are barely crawling over this “finishing line” and really don’t have much energy left to hope for anything. So much of the latter part of this year, for us, has felt like treading water after a shipwreck, barely managing to keep our heads above water. And if we weren’t in that place ourselves, we were trying help others from going under. And yet…

One of the activities I like to do at the end of a year is look back to the beginning – it’s hopes, what I have felt God saying, goals I might have set - to see how these played out through the year. This has been particularly helpful this year as so much of the last month or so has felt “lost”. Even as I acknowledged my sense that I “should” have done more, and the list of what I still haven’t done started to flit through my mind, so much of the good of this year, the positive and productive activities and circumstances, the way God opened doors and shifted so much in our lives (even in ways that didn’t feel so much like Him!) started to flood my thoughts.

No, in the middle of the continuing global upheaval of this year, in the middle of the loss, pain, rejection, fear, anxiety and panic that has roared around like a hurricane, I can come to the end standing upright and say, “It was a good year”. Yes, it is far too easy to look at all the issues and negativity, the darkness, but God is still here, still sovereign and still bringing His plans and purposes to fruition. Anytime I like, I can head to that place of stillness in Him, with Him, in the middle of the storm. I can choose to focus instead on gratitude for what is, or what has been good, rather than living in hopelessness and despair.

Heading my mind toward that place of stillness yesterday morning, the first lines of “O Come, O Come, Emmanuel” started playing in my mind. Looking up all the words, I can’t help but see it as a wonderful prayer for this time (check out the whole song here). The first and last verses are:

“O come, O come, Emmanuel, And ransom captive Israel That mourns in lonely exile here Until the Son of God appear.

Rejoice! Rejoice! Emmanuel Shall come to thee, O Israel.

O come, Desire of nations, bind In one the hearts of all mankind; Bid all our sad divisions cease, And be Thyself our King of Peace.”

The last verse particularly resonates with me. Oh, that our divisions would cease! And what a prayer that has been through the ages. How that might happen is for next week’s blog, though…

Returning to the beginning of the year, there were a few entries from my journal that hit me again. I had been reading through Isaiah, particularly chapter 40 and 41. These chapters are filled with the promise that God does and will show up. That He will make a way where there seems no way, that every obstacle will be removed out of His path, and much about people seeing His glory in plain sight; that it is time to proclaim Him loudly and proudly; that He will be known by all, throughout the earth. The beautiful picture of dry, barren wastelands and deserts turning into springs, into places of lush growth is a central part of the promise here.

Into these reflections, the word God gave me for 2021 was “peace”. As I have shared earlier, it was not a word I immediately embraced. Peace, like patience (and probably every other fruit of the Spirit), generally requires a good dose of the opposite to experience its manifestation. However, into my little rejection of this word, Yeshua whispered, “Shalom” to me. Going on a search through the deeper connotations of this word we so loosely translate “peace”, excited me no end!

Wholeness, healing, restoration, restitution, integrity, harmony, prosperity, welfare, “righteous recompense”, unbrokenness, fullness, “the days of mourning are completed”.

In fact, going back to Is 40:1 (TPT), it begins,

“Comfort, comfort my people with gentle, compassionate words. Speak tenderly from the heart to revive those in Jerusalem, and proclaim that their warfare is over. Her debt of sin is paid for, and she will not be treated as guilty. Prophesy to her that she has received from the hand of Yahweh twice as many blessings as all her sins.”

This sounds very much like “shalom” to me!

So, 2021 started with much hope and excitement for me about what God was going to do. I must confess, that not much of it has been in the format I perhaps expected or would have liked. In fact, I am still processing how some things could be part of His will, especially as they have seemed to have dashed some of my hopes to pieces. However, I will keep seeking Him for the next step and the next step, with the hope, and even confidence, that His plans are better, even when I can’t really see His hand in it.

I refuse to allow disappointment and unmet expectations lead me into a place of bitterness or retreat.

For each of us, in fact, the only way we can step into this new year with hope rather than despair, with joy rather than bitterness is through gratitude. Our gratitude may just be for the opportunities to draw closer to God, to depend on Him in greater measure, to learn more of Who He is for us; it may be finding thankfulness in the little things, like provision or simply for a beautiful day.

If we want to be well positioned for all that 2022 will bring, an attitude of gratitude is a giant step in a life-giving direction, leading us toward freedom, joy and shalom and most importantly, strengthening our connection with Father God, Yeshua, His Son and Holy Spirit.

“Rejoice! Rejoice! Emmanuel shall come to thee, O Israel.”

Captivating Thoughts

I know I am not alone in having times finding myself awake with racing thoughts in the early hours of the morning. In fact, over the last few weeks, circumstances in our personal lives alongside the usual state, national and global issues have given me even more material. And I also know it doesn’t have to be the middle of the night – they can be just as debilitating during the day. The worst part is, sometimes we don’t even realise that we have a choice to think differently, let alone know how!

Seeking God in this place more recently, the words “take every thought captive” has been His response.

We can demolish every deceptive fantasy that opposes God and break through every arrogant attitude that is raised up in defiance of the true knowledge of God. We capture, like prisoners of war, every thought and insist that it bow in obedience to the Anointed One. (2 Cor 10:5, TPT)

But how do I do this, especially at 2, 3, 4 in the morning, when everything seems so dark and so real? My thoughts are based in facts, aren’t they? Things are as bad as they seem, aren’t they? This really has and is happening to me, to us!

How do I take every thought captive? Especially at that point where it feels worse than the proverbial herding of cats?

I am reminded of the comment a friend used to say to me in past times: “How do you stop thinking about pink elephants?” Thinking yourself out of thinking something can get a little circular.

In a number of ways, the Lord has been reminding me that He is the only answer to problems like this, that I will only find the solution in and though Him. He is training me to seek Him and ask Him for help in all these arenas, rather than relying on my own abilities, skills or practices. And they seem to be different every time. The same “formula” rarely works more than a short time. He wants me to keep coming back to Him.

So, one night, I just asked Him to help:

“Lord, I can’t take my thoughts captive. I need Your help!”

Next thing I knew, it was morning.

Another night, I asked Him to help me captivate my thoughts and He gave me a butterfly net, which He and I swept around the “room” in my head, catching every thought like butterflies before they could land. My mind was immediately blank and I could not even think of anything to think of, let alone remember what I had been thinking about.

In this season, I have such a sense that God is calling each of us into greater intimacy with Him. This means leaning on Him in ways we haven’t in the past. It means coming to Him as a child, helpless and dependant. Next time you find yourself stuck on the merry-go-round with your thoughts, try Him. Ask Him. It might be just as simple as “Help me, please”, or you might move on to “what do You want me to do with these thoughts?”, or “how do you want me to deal with this?” He promises that those who seek Him and ask will not be disappointed.

Matt 7:7 “Keep asking, and it will be given to you; keep seeking, and you will find; keep knocking, and the door will be opened to you.” (CJB)

A quiet space to connect with God

This podcast uses and expands on an activity from the book “Experiencing the Depths of Jesus Christ”, by Jeanne Guyon, written around 1685. Perhaps not surprisingly, it is still just as relevant today. As you listen, I pray that your connection with your loving Father will deepen and continue to transform you, for His glory.

Please feel free to share about your encounters in the comments section to encourage others.

(Around 17 minutes)

Backing music by David Lastra, Surrender

Do your windows need cleaning?

Lying in bed recently one morning with the winter sunshine streaming in, I was talking with God about how to manage my emotions in this time. I was struggling to deal with the despair, anxiety, fear and hopelessness swirling around the atmosphere.

However, even as I looked out the window, instead of brilliant blue sky, the filthy state of our windows grabbed my attention. In fact, the angle of the sun was showing it up so clearly that the window was almost opaque. Dust, dirt and cobwebs inhibited my view almost completely.

Even as I became aware of what I was seeing, the words “bad reports” came to mind. I felt Yeshua gently say to me, “if you spend too much time listening to and reading the bad reports, they become your focus and that is all you will see”.

A very telling incident involving “bad reports” occurred with the nation of Israel as they first went to enter the Promised Land. They sent out twelve spies (one for each tribe) to check out the land. Ten came back with fearful reports that although the land was wonderful, the people were giants and the Israelites would never be able to conquer them. Because the Israelites listened to those bad reports and came into agreement with them, most of them never got to the Promised Land and they ended up another forty years in the wilderness.

There is an aspect in this scenario where the people actually prophesied something different over themselves than God had planned for them. Although God’s plan for His people did not change, and the long term result was the same, many people missed out on what He was doing because they took hold of the wrong story, the wrong picture. They focussed on the dirt and this became their truth. Even when they changed their mind and tried to enter the land by force, they ended up failing and getting smashed by the enemy because of what they had agreed with that wasn’t in line with what God had said. They had not trusted Him.

For some time, I have been concerned about much of what we discuss and share both in person and online. On one hand, the understanding is that it is important to let people know what is “really going on”, what is behind everything we are seeing. However, even if there is truth in this information, I can’t help but wonder if we are not playing a similar part to those ten spies who were fearful. Their focus was on their own ability to deal with what they saw rather than trusting in who God wanted to be for them. Our words have creative power. God spoke things that were not into being. He made us in His image. We all know the impact of certain words on our own being, for good or bad. Much of what gets airplay in this season is very much around good and bad, what is evil and what is right. Unfortunately, this material generally comes from the tree of the knowledge of good and evil, and will therefore ultimately lead to death. Instead, how much better would it be for us make sure our words lead to life, point people to Jesus, and that our words are God’s words.

Returning to my windows, this is the prayer God gave me that morning, which had an immediate effect for me. However, if you do choose to pray it, you may need to also change your focus from the dirt to the Light of the Son. If you keep feeding on the bad reports, your windows will quickly get dirty again.

Father God, I am sorry I have focussed more on the bad reports than on You. Would you please come and clean the windows of my heart, my soul and my mind so I can see Your Light clearly again? Help me to focus on You, to listen to You and to ask You what You want me to do with every report before I even listen to or read them. In Yeshua’s name.

Backing music by David Lastra, “Selah”, https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ivEUZ4TpBG4

A special gift - some space to pause, reflect and refresh.

Many of us are weary and perhaps feeling dry or even hopeless. On Monday, as we were praying, verses of encouragement and hope kept coming into my mind, one after another, almost like the autocue going mad. Added to this, we are currently in the middle of the Jewish celebration Sukkot or the Feast of Tabernacles. This is a time to celebrate God’s provision and care for us, to rejoice, but also to be reminded that He has promised to “tabernacle” or dwell with us and within us. We have become His dwelling place.

In the light of all this, I felt to put together a little space for each of you to hit the pause button on life, reflect on scripture and be refreshed in the presence of Jesus. Enjoy! (There is around 17 minutes of interactive material, with a few more minutes at the end to simply be and allow the music to wash over you.)

If you would like to prepare before you start, the Scriptures are: Matthew 11:28-30; Ps 23; Is 40:28-31; Is 35:1,3,6,7; John 4:13-14 and John 7:37-38. The Matthew verses are from The Passion, Is 35 from the NIV and all others are from the Complete Jewish Bible.

Backing music by David Lastra, “Selah”, https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ivEUZ4TpBG4

Ditch that old wineskin, NOW!

Our beautiful white star magnolia is in full bloom at the moment. As I was enjoying watching it burst into blossom, I noticed one of the flowers was having something of a malfunction. Instead of opening from the middle as usual, the furry bud cover had remained stuck, trapping the petal tips inside (as in the photo). Because my attention was drawn so strongly to this, I asked God what He wanted to tell me about it.

“The old wineskin is about to fall and the pure Bride will be released in spotless glory!”

These were the words that immediately popped into my mind. I know it is mixing metaphors, but my sense was that it is time for the constraints of the past to go, it is time for us - the people of God, both as individuals and corporately - to be fully released into all the potential within us.

Watching this bud over the course of a week, although the petals kept pushing out from the bottom, the furry cap stayed stuck fast. And then, one day I went out and the whole flower was gone! Looking around, I found it on the ground, still stuck in the cap. I was quite dismayed, wondering what it meant, as I was so looking forward to the “bursting forth” and the “breaking free”. I asked the Lord about it again and His response hit me hard.

It was a warning.

If you don’t let go of the old wineskin, not only will you fail to reach your potential, fail to bloom, but you will no longer even be attached to the tree. You will be separated.

Since this, I have been asking the Lord what the old wineskin represents. What am I still holding on to? What to I need to let go of?

As I continued to ponder on the old wineskin, and what it signifies, suddenly I saw a connection with some aspects of identity we have been sitting with over the last few months.

My husband has been a journey through this and we are digging deep into how we walk it. He felt the Lord telling him that he (and we all) need to lay down – even resign from – every identity that we have save one. Every identity except our identity as a child of God. We need to lay every other identity down at the feet of Jesus: parent, spouse, boss, worker, teacher, pastor, sister, brother, friend, whatever roles we play in life in our relationships with others and what we do; whether we are “the funny one”, “the grumpy one”, “the helpless one”, “the wealthy one”, “the accident prone one”, “the perfectionist”, “the spiritual one” or whatever other label we have attached to ourselves, we must let go of all of them. We need to strip ourselves bare of every identity we own or hold on to, everything about us. It is from this place we learn to stand on who we are in Jesus alone*.

To explain further, it reminds me of a season I went through some years back where God asked me to stop doing pretty much everything I was involved in. It was a year of learning to simply be – to find my identity, my value in being in Him rather than in what I did.

It is a tough place.

We live in a society where pretty much the first question we ask a new acquaintance is “What do you do?”. So much of our perceived value (in the eyes of the world particularly) comes from what we do, what we produce – our work(s), what we have to offer. Early on in my journey as a parent, when people asked me what I did, I had to catch myself as I would reply, “I’m just a mum”. Even though I chose to focus on parenting, it reflected back to me that I didn’t really value that role either. I believed what the world told me about it.

The truth is, most of us look to others around us for our validation, to reflect back to us that we are worth something, that what we do has value. It is why our fragile egos flip from feeling great when we get positive reinforcement to feeling despair, hopelessness or worthlessness when the feedback is not so flattering or even absent. This has become much more obvious in this era of social media, where everything we put out into the cyber world is measured through this lens.

However, if we have confidence about our identity in Christ, if we firmly plant our feet on Him as our Rock, everything we do, every role and “identity” that we take up becomes an offering to Him, and is for the building of His Kingdom. It ceases to be about getting our own needs for affirmation and validation met, but is rather an outworking of our assurance in who we are in Him. The mess of our deceitful hearts looking to their own agenda is replaced with a pure heart, pure motives, simply to serve God. And oh, there is such freedom in this place. Our master ceases to be public opinion and becomes the One who loves us unconditionally – not because of what we can do for Him, but because we belong to Him, we are His creation.

At the end of the podcast, there is an opportunity to spend some time with Jesus reflecting on those aspects of our identity that are not grounded in Him. You can do this on your own as well. Ask Him what aspects of your identity you need to lay down at His feet, to give up to Him. He may give them back to you, or may transform them into a new way of being. You can also ask Him what He wants to tell you about your identity in Him – what He loves about you, what He has placed in you – and ask Him what He wants to do through these. He may also ask you to wait until you have walked a while without any identity but as His child.

*If you are having difficulty with understanding what it means to be a child of God, a really helpful book is “Who I am in Christ”, by Neil T Anderson, or you can just look up images with the same information and there are many showing the key verses from Scripture.

Backing track CALM - Deep Instrumental worship (No copyright music) https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RzO5oe8hAaI

Manifesting the good stuff

The fruit of the Spirit is not circumstantial!

I woke up in the early hours with these words in my mind a little while ago. As I unpacked this statement, I saw it was both wonderful news, but at the same time quite a challenge.

The point is, if we have the Holy Spirit residing in us, then we have access to all His fruit, no matter what is going on in our lives or the world around us. We can have it all, in abundance! However, so often this is not our experience. We struggle with the absence of one or more aspects of the fruit and can feel like we just have to work harder to get there.

What if it is not about working harder?

What if it is more about asking the right questions?

If we are not experiencing the fruit of Holy Spirit, asking the question “Why not?” “What is blocking their flow in, through and out of us?” may be more helpful.

It is valuable to note that the fruit, as written in Galatians 5:22-23, is actually in the singular form.

“…the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness (or humility), self control.”

That means that they come together as a package - there is only one fruit, but there are different manifestations. From this perspective, I would like to share some thoughts on how we might deal with blockages we are experiencing with facets of this fruit.

To begin, if I am having difficulty receiving God’s love for me, I might ask the question, “Is there a lie I am believing about myself, God?” Or, “is there a lie I am believing about you, Lord?” “Is there something I need to repent of?” (Not because God withholds His love, but because these things become a barrier between us and Him.) (Later, in the podcast, there will be an opportunity to follow through on each of these areas.)

If I am having difficulty loving other people, asking the question, “Who do I need to forgive?” can open up the door to experiencing God’s love if I am prepared to go through the process of actually doing the work of forgiveness. This is not necessarily reconciliation, but it is about giving up my “right” for retribution, retaliation or vengeance.

In this time, I know that it can be very easy to lose our joy. In fact, this is one I have wrestled with for years. How can I be joyful when “x”, “y” and “z” are not how they should be? I believe there are two aspects to this. The first is to ask God what beliefs, expectations or even lies am I holding on to about my circumstances that are unhelpful? (i.e. I can only be happy when or if…) The second is to ask Him to show you His perspective on what is going on and what He is doing. Even in the last couple of days, I have caught a whiff of His excitement and joy about what He is up to that I believe is about to burst in on the scene. However, we won’t see it if we are focussed on the wrong things, if our vision is clouded or distorted.

A lack of peace can be related back to a lack in our trust in God, in who He is. A few years back, God showed me that rest and trust correlate - that is, where I do not experience rest is an indicator of an area where I don’t trust Him. I’m sure many of us can see numbers of ways in which we need to grow, need an “upgrade” in learning to trust and rest in Him in some area.

This all leads back to the shalom peace of God, which is about healing, wholeness, restitution and integrity to name a few. If these are all in alignment, then we are at rest, at peace. For those areas you become aware of where you are struggling to trust God, ask Him to show you what healing needs to occur so your heart can trust Him more, or ask Him to show you a glimpse of what He sees, or to give you a key to help you move into greater trust in Him around this issue.

As we move through the fruit manifestations from here, I would suggest the blockages really link back to these three areas, but most particularly love - how we give and receive love is all impacted by our beliefs about ourselves and others. Our impatience is often a lack of seeing the other through God’s loving eyes; unkindness maybe the same, or could relate to a measure, a judgement we also use on ourselves, which could expose our inability to love ourselves. We could make similar observations about the other areas. If we are struggling to manifest that part of the fruit, there is probably something unresolved in how we see ourselves and others that we need to bring to Father God for healing and transformation, as “we are being changed into his very image, from one degree of glory to the next” (1 Cor 3:18, CJB).

The final facet listed is self-control. Recently, as I was asking God for part of the key to what keeps people stuck in unhealthy spaces when they have had healing and received freedom in many areas, He gave me the word “self-discipline”, which made sense. If we want to change, if we want the atmosphere around and within us to be different, we can’t just expect to keep doing the same things, thinking the same things, focussing on the same things and expecting different outcomes.

If we want to feel different, we have to exercise some self-discipline, some self-control over our thought life and what information and input we fill ourselves with. In a time when many of us have information overload, stepping back and giving ourselves space and time away from the world and all its struggles is vitally important to our emotional and spiritual well being. If we master this, then we will no longer be tossed around by our changing circumstances, but will be found secure, anchored in God. However, we can’t do it alone. We must partner with Holy Spirit. And sometimes, having an accountability partner, some one we give permission to pull us up when our conversation, thoughts or behaviour strays down unhelpful paths can give us that extra boost toward changing our habits.

If you would like to pray through some of these issues, you will find a segment toward the end of the podcast where you can do so. If you still find yourself stuck after that, you are welcome to connect with me via the contact page for information about some further prayer.

Please encourage us all by sharing in the comments anything God is shifting in your life through this process.

Backing track CALM - Deep Instrumental worship (No copyright music) https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RzO5oe8hAaI

How's your heart health?

The mouth speaks what the heart is full of.

This phrase from Luke 6:45 popped into my mind the other day. However, rather than it being about condemnation and judgement, I felt God showing me that it was an opportunity, a key to connect with God. I felt Him saying,

“Listen to what comes out of your mouth. It will give you an idea of what is going on in your heart. If there is anything that’s not great, it’s an indicator of something going on in your heart that needs attention. You now have the opportunity to bring that part of your heart to Me for healing and restoration.”

We all need to listen to what comes out of our mouth. Is it frustration and negativity? Bitterness? Annoyance and anger? Hurt, malice, discord, even hatred? James tells us, “With the tongue we praise our Lord and Father, and with it we curse human beings, who have been made in God’s likeness. Out of the same mouth come praise and cursing...this should not be. Can both fresh water and salt water flow from the same spring…can a fig tree bear olives, or a grapevine bear figs? Neither can a salt spring produce fresh water.” (James 3:9-12, NIV)

If we believe we have God’s Holy Spirit in us, what comes out of our mouths should reflect this. Galatians 5 gives us a great idea of what this looks like:

Love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control.

How wonderful is our God that He gives us the opportunity for transformation, to become more like Him? However, how often do we not take this opportunity, instead resorting to our same old methods of self-protection and self-preservation?

Hebrews 3 repeatedly quotes a verse from Ps 95 - “Today, if you hear his voice, do not harden your hearts as you did in the rebellion…”

Why do we harden our hearts?

Again, I believe it is our self-protection. Right from our early years we experience hurt, disappointment, anger, frustration at some point. We learn that the world is not safe, that other people are not safe, and so, we find that if we want to feel safe (physically or emotionally), we have to do it for ourselves. Sometimes that is by lashing out ourselves, using our bodies, our voice or our words. Others learn it is safer to hide away. We might do a mixture of both. However we protect ourselves, it leads to walls around our hearts, or even callouses. We harden our hearts because we believe the lie that it will protect us from further pain.

Today is an opportunity. I believe that today, right now, where you are, God wants to bring healing to your heart, to take you to another level in freedom.

When we come to a place of worship, it is an interface, a place where we not only get to give God the praise and glory due to Him, but a place where He meets us. We cannot do this properly from a place where we are not prepared to be vulnerable, open and honest with Him. As scary as it can seem, when we lay all our pain, hurt and brokenness out on the table for Him to see, it is the place where healing, wholeness and freedom can come.

The invitation right now is for you to do this with God, either as I sing over you, or put on some quiet worship and spend your own time with Him. The reality is, we cannot fix ourselves. If you have stuff coming out of your mouth and heart that you know is unhelpful, unhealthy, that you know you want change in, now is the time. He can and He will – His desire is for your wholeness. After all, that’s why Jesus came, died and rose again – so you can be free.

This is a photo I took the other morning, where I saw what looked to me like a giant mouth in the sky. The words that came with it were, “The heavens declare the glory of the Lord”. Let our words, hearts and lives also reflect His glory more and more!

“The heavens declare the glory of the Lord”

(Backing track is from WORSHIP - DEEP INSTRUMENTAL WORSHIP - (NO COPYRIGHT MUSIC) https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2fixZNIFIbs&t=305s)

THE STAGE IS SET

I took this photo from our deck a few mornings back and I have found myself continually coming back to it, with the sense that there was more God wanted to tell me.

The first words that came to mind were “THE STAGE IS SET”.

I see a curtain, ready to be lifted, and with it is a sense of a kids’ concert. I can almost hear them giggling and shuffling behind the curtain, ready and waiting to enact the performance of their lives that they have practiced so hard to be ready for. Added to this is the sound of angels singing, again, excited for what is to come. They are like those in the orchestra pit, tuning their instruments, warming up for a big performance. Perhaps most importantly, I see the glory bursting out around the edges of the curtain – the curtain cannot contain it. The glory is getting so brilliant that the curtain can no longer cover or hide it.

Glory is about to burst out everywhere! Glory is about to BREAKTHROUGH!

Reflecting on what is meant by “the stage is set”, this definition made sense, that the stage is set “to make it possible for something else to happen” (Cambridge Dictionary online). What I am sensing is that everything is ready for the next act, that all the people and pieces are in place for a shift, for something new and it feels like a wedding feast. The joy, anticipation and excitement I am feeling are so palpable that I almost can’t sit still. I believe that in this act, God is going to reveal His glory in amazing ways. There are a number of aspects to this.

The first is that it is God’s act. Just as the curtain or veil was torn in two from top to bottom when Jesus died on the cross, if you look carefully at the photo, it seems that there is a tear starting at the top in the centre. He is the Director and Producer and we all need to be waiting attentively, with our eyes on Him to hear His call to “Action”.

The actors on the stage are His people, His pure and spotless Bride. Jesus said that we must be as little children to enter the Kingdom: dependent on Him; filled with joy; without guile; pure of heart. There is a sense that these are people God has hidden away for such a time as this – they have been in waiting, been in training behind the scenes but He is about to elevate them to centre stage.

Last year I had another picture that links in. The scene was a wedding. The vows had been said, the declaration had been made and the Groom was about to lift the Bride’s veil to seal the covenant with His kiss. In this moment, everyone gets to see the beauty and glory of the Bride as she reflects His glory, and that it is with great pride that Jesus reveals Her to the world. I sensed His very great love for His Bride, His people. His desire is to lift her up, to elevate her to be all He created her to be.

THE STAGE IS SET! Can you feel it? Keep your eyes on Him as you won’t want to miss what comes next! I’m excited!!

"Yours, Adonai, is the greatness, the power, the victory and the majesty; for everything in heaven and on earth is Yours. The kingdom is Yours, Adonai; and You are exalted as head over all." (1Ch 29:11, CJB)

Are you a chicken?

Recently, I felt God speaking to me through some fun and games with the latest addition to our household.

Last year we bought two chickens, which we ironically named “Butter” and “Tandoori”. It hasn’t taken them long to claim the yard as their own and likewise dominate the dog, although she has learnt to chase them away from eating her food! The other day, however, they decided that our acreage was not enough and took themselves out for a wander down our semi-rural street. It took us some time to find them, amid our concerns about foxes and vehicles. They had found their way down to the overgrown driveway a couple of houses away, and were having a lovely time, totally unperturbed about our concern.

A day or so later, we suddenly had two extra chickens in our yard. It seems our neighbour’s chickens had caught the restlessness and decided they’d check out if our grass really was greener.

Then, Sunday morning, things stepped up a notch. At some point in the night, I heard chickens clucking like they’d laid an egg, which was unusual, but failed to concern me enough to get up and see what was going on. However, a little while after sunrise I heard them chatting away somewhere around our bedroom – the opposite side of the property to their coop, where they should have been, safe from foxes and other night predators.

The short story is that hubby went looking and eventually found them holed up under our bedroom – the space in which two of our dogs have often slept if they were out for the night. (We live on the side of a mountain, so not quite as inaccessible as you might think.) Somehow, they had managed to open their cage door and escape at some point after we had gone out for the evening. They were in no hurry to come out from under the house. Martin realised that they were in “laying mode”, but that they didn’t really want to lay their eggs where they were. In the end, he had to pick them up individually and carry them back to the coop, where they rushed straight up into the nesting boxes to lay their eggs.

Over the week, I had felt God’s prompting to pay attention to these scenarios. The idea that the chickens were breaking out, and were indeed, “flying the coop” took on a deeper meaning, especially in light of the words, “The King has left the building” that kept rattling around in my head toward the end of last year.

For those a bit younger, this statement has its origin with Elvis Presley, the “King of Rock’n’roll”. In order to calm the crowds screaming for more, or even just to get them to leave at the end of his concerts, the announcer would often say, “Ladies and gentlemen, Elvis has left the building”. This has later morphed to “the King has left the building”.

When I heard this phrase in my head, though, I immediately knew it was about King Jesus. It was a reinforcement to me that it is well and truly time we shift our thoughts away from the church being a building. The perception church is what happens on a Sunday morning must become past history. We cannot continue to try to box God into a place, into a building or even a time frame. And it is well past time for us to stop expecting people to come into a place of our choosing to encounter God.

In contrast, the chickens flying the coop is about us, His people. In the world of visions and dreams, chickens can be representative of the people of God. (I think it relates back to Jesus looking to Jerusalem and longing to gather His people under His wings as a mother hen gathers her chicks, see Matt 23:37).

Just as I sensed that God is not constrained by the buildings we have constructed for Him, I felt that God is calling us out with Him; out of those things that have constrained us, or even those places and practices that have been about our own safety or comfort. Even the behaviour of the chickens wanting to get back into the coop to lay their eggs seemed to be a counter call to us to instead take our “best work” that we have previously given to “the church” out into the world for the Kingdom. In the past, we have perhaps seen the church and the Kingdom of God as somehow being synonymous. However, I believe many of us actually need to upgrade our understanding of just what “Church” means.

The idea that the Church is not a building but people has been doing the rounds for some years now, even decades. Unfortunately, while we might have many ideas about what Church is not, I am not convinced we have really nailed what “Church” actually is. Even though we might use terms like the “Body of Christ”, or family, these also have different connotations for each of us.

Heading back to the Bible is not immediately helpful either. The word translated to church was, in the original Greek language, “ecclesia”, which perhaps gives us more insight. The literal translation is “the gathering of those summoned”, and it was a term used in the secular world to indicate a political gathering of citizens. While there is a sense of governance around this, it would seem that rather than being hierarchical, all those deemed eligible had a say in the way in which the community operated and what was acceptable. It was quite democratic.

I wonder if we read our New Testament with a greater understanding of what the ecclesia meant to those first disciples it would change our view (and acceptance) of the way we tend to “run church” today?

Coming back to what I am specifically sensing from God around these two phrases, I have to mention the dreaded virus. As we slowly emerged from a lengthy lockdown last year, many were complaining that we couldn’t get back to “church as normal”. However, in our community, we had such a strong sense that we are not meant to. We have this amazing opportunity for substantial change in what is implied by the term “church”. I personally have loved the gatherings we have held outside our buildings, even though we have had a cold summer. It has felt so wonderful to connect with the outside world as we worship – both creation, as well as being visible and perhaps more accessible to the community around us, with people walking past getting a glimpse of what we are about and occasionally even joining us.

I believe with all my heart that God wants us to move out of our places of safety and comfort, out of hiding. I also believe that He wants a shift in our focus, from being a “church” that simply gathers together for our own needs, getting our weekly fix of spiritual input, to a people who, like the Israelites coming out of Egypt followed only where God was going. They didn’t follow a program, a formula, what seemed logical or even those who had come before them. They learnt to be wholly dependent on God.

In the season we are in, where there are so many differing opinions and ideas, where we seem to be in something of a minefield, it is ever more important for us to only go where He is going.

Will you follow?

It's not the issue you think!

Late last year, I had one of those moments when I suddenly saw something it was then impossible to “unsee”. While you’ll be relieved to know it wasn’t something visually untoward, it was an insight that completely changed my perspective and understanding. The obvious nature of it left me feeling both a little gobsmacked that I hadn’t seen it earlier, but also thinking it must be obvious to everyone and I was the last to see it. I still think it is pretty obvious, but perhaps people put it into the too hard basket, or for other reasons don’t want to engage.

My moment was around what I see as the major issue of our times. It has probably always been a major player, but in this season of great polarisation, it must become front and centre for all, no matter which side of the great divide you live on.

While so many are engaging with issues of masks, vaccines, virus, globalisation, climate change, radical laws, or whatever other polarising issue you’d like to pick, I suddenly realised that our enemy’s actual plan is to create as much division and strife as possible in our communities, societies and culture, and many of us are jumping on board and doing all the heavy lifting. It has happened far too quickly and easily.

As I have reflected on what God has been saying and showing me around this, I found myself confronted again and again with the numbers 222. I woke up at 2:22am, I looked at the clock later in the day: 2:22pm. 222 on the odometer, and then it was the turn of 111, even to the improbably cheap price of fuel: $1.11!

In the last few years, I have become more aware of the way numbers, letters and even pictures are all wrapped up in each character of the Hebrew alphabet. Each letter contains a wealth of information, not immediately obvious to those of us only familiar with the Roman (English) alphabet and how it works. There are no separate symbols for numerals – they simply use the letters to double up as numbers. So, seeing all these 2’s and 1’s, I went to one of my sources looking at the meanings associated with the letters that represent these numbers.

It was here I had another revelation. Both 1 and 2 are to do with unity. In my research there are some interesting links between 1 and 2. It is quite obvious that 1 is about unity - the concept of being in “oneness”. The number 111 is further reflective of the unity of the trinity. However, when I read through some information about 2, the information went back to the Garden of Eden. Here, we find that God took the “one” man, and through the division of taking a rib from his side, created a second person. Through the process of division, one became two. (Beautifully, in the creation of every new human being now, we see another take on this process: first two cells come together to become one, and then, through division and multiplication, they form one new being!)

In this place of differentiation, however, the risk of disunity came into being. There were now two who had the opportunity to have different opinions, to allow offence and hurt and all other types of dissension or discord. In the middle of all this possibility for division and break down, God also illustrated the way to a bond of unity through the marriage relationship – a precursor if you will, of the pathway to unity Jesus would bring. At the end of Genesis 2, we are told in verse 24 (CJB) “…a man…will stick with his wife and they are to be one flesh”.

I found this astounding. First God divided, then He brings back unity, a unity ultimately made possible through the death and resurrection of Jesus. One became two, given the choice to become one again, the choice to be in unity or to separate.

Even more beautifully, the picture of physical unity in marriage overlays onto the Church, the Body of Christ, His Bride! Alongside my ruminations of unity, the journey has included the concept of “unveiling”. One of my favourite passages of Scripture is from 2 Cor 3:18, where Paul reflects on the difference between Moses, who hid the fading glory of his encounters with God behind a veil, and our calling to have our faces unveiled, as God transforms us into His image, reflecting His glory to the world.

During a prayer time, I had a really overwhelmingly lovely picture of us as Jesus’ Bride. It was at the point in the wedding service where the groom lifts the veil and kisses the Bride. There were so many layers to this. The kiss is about sealing His commitment to us, His people. It’s about a covenant with Him, and it is about the fact that He already laid down His life for us. Then, as He lifts the veil, everyone (the whole world) gets to see the beauty and glory of the Bride. As a female, this is an easy vision to sit with. I suspect it may be a little more challenging for men. The question in the midst of the vision is whether we are willing to allow Him to truly husband us – to be our Protector, our Guide. Are we willing to submit all our desires to Him? And even more challenging, is the Bride, the Church, ready to be revealed, and in turn, to reveal God’s glory to the world? If we sit in the mess of disunity, perhaps not so much!

The starting point to having unity with each other is first to walk in unity with God. John 17:20-26 has been another scripture I have been sitting with for a number of years. As one of the longest recorded prayers of Jesus, it is obviously important. It is where Jesus prays for the unity of all believers; that our unity would be like the unity between Father God and Jesus – that we would be inseparable. I think it is one of the key areas the enemy likes to attack us in: divide and conquer!

The antidote to our disunity is all wrapped up in the two commandments Jesus gave us. Love God and love each other as ourselves.

Hmmm, how good are we at loving ourselves? 1 John (chapter 4 particularly), gives us a very clear insight into the Source of love. We must first receive God’s love, allow His love to impact and transform us, to lift us up, which requires us to see our own value and identity through His eyes, before we will be able to adequately love others. We must stop getting our identity, value and love primarily through the imperfect reflections we get from others. It must come from our ever deepening relationship with God.

Unity is all wrapped up in love.

We don’t have a hope in any relationship, in being the Church, or in impacting the world around us with the Kingdom of God until we can love unconditionally – not just when we’ve been “good”; not just when we agree with each other; not just when we have the same views about the “important” issues, but when we are (again!), willing to lay down our need to be “right” to preserve relationship. We can’t do it without God’s help though.

As a third wheel to all this, my word for this year is peace. I rejected it the first time round, and when it came up again, I groaned. I saw it as the cousin of patience: you only get it by experiencing the opposite!

However, as I took time to reflect on it and ask God about it, the Hebrew word “shalom” came to mind, so I went on a deep dive into its meaning. Some of the associated implications are: wholeness; integrity; harmony; completeness; unbrokenness; full; undividedness. Further, the post on Abarim Publications suggests that “peace-making” is about “Achieving such a level of understanding of irreconcilable elements that these can be understood and joined in…” Such promise! So much joy contained in these ideas!

Unity!

We can’t have unity without shalom-peace and unconditional love.

I suspect most of us have a significant journey of experience before we come anywhere near to doing unity well. I know I do. I know how much of a journey it has been to come to any place of unity and unconditional love within myself and I don’t claim to be at the end of that one. However, I do know that it is not something God expects us to do alone, to do in our own strength. He has given us His Holy Spirit for precisely that purpose – to help and guide us through, to show us the way to love well and to live in unity. All we need to do is decide whether we partner with Holy Spirit, or with the enemy of our souls. Every moment of every day is a new opportunity to choose!

(These photos were taken on our walk on Valentine’s Day in lockdown - someone had placed them at various places along the path. Such a lovely treasure hunt!)

An invitation: It’s for NOW, so don’t wait!

In a prayer group recently, we were presented with a couple of pictures that immediately spoke to me deeply, linking in with a number of other thoughts. The first of these pictures was a garden doorway.

(C) Richard walker - Used with permission (https://www.flickr.com/photos/richwall100/3878198108)

Straight away, I saw an invitation here from the Lord for us to enter in to a new and very different space. It is an invitation to step out from what is familiar and filled with what is known, out from what is expected and seen as normal, and out from what feels safe, into the UNKNOWN and UNFAMILIAR.

From a season of extended lockdown, (particularly here in Melbourne, Australia), there is an invitation to step out into something we possibly can’t even see. It is not only the “unknown”, it is also the “unseen”. Just as in this picture, we cannot see around the corner, we don’t know what lies outside that door, the only way to find out is to step through the doorway. We have to make a commitment to STEP FORWARD before we can see what we will STEP INTO. Perhaps we can’t even see Jesus in the space we are stepping into – it is filled with so much uncertainty, particularly as we lack long distance vision or understanding, but I hear His voice coming from around that corner, in the distance, calling us, “COME ON!! COME ON!! MY BELOVED, FOLLOW ME into this new space. I have so much for you here, but you have to step out, you have to let go of what is past.”

This leads to the second picture. In this, of the last strand of a rope about to be cut, I immediately saw that God is wanting to cut our ties to the things of the past. It is not necessarily that they were bad, but that they are not for now. The problem now is that they will only slow us down and keep us busy and focussed on that which is not important at this time. It is a season where we need to streamline, to slim down in order to travel fast and far. Just like travelling by air (remember that?!), you can’t take everything with you. You have to trust that anything extra you need will be available at the other end in some form, that you will receive the provision for your needs as you go.

We are entering a new season and a new season needs new ways. Many people have been quoting Is 43:19 in the last couple of years: “I am doing something new; it’s springing up — can’t you see it? I am making a road in the desert, rivers in the wasteland.” The repeated message is, “if it’s new, it’s going to be different, it’s going to be unfamiliar, we won’t know what it looks like until we get there.”

If we go back to verse 18, we have further admonishment: “Stop dwelling on past events and brooding over times gone by”.

Over the past month or so, I had three dreams about people dying. In the first and third dreams, they were people who were significant to me who actually died many years ago. The middle one was a current friend. In all three dreams, I was absolutely distraught by grief and woke up expecting my pillow to be saturated. After the third dream, I was really wanting to understand what God was trying to get my attention about in this – the level of grief seemed extreme to anything I felt on waking.

I sensed that these dreams are about what many in the Body of Christ are experiencing now around what is missing or even gone from our lives. In the dreams, there was almost a desperate desire to bring back that which was gone and there was the associated powerlessness that comes with loss. We are hurting from the loss of what we held dear. But, somewhat brutally, I feel that again, Jesus is calling us forward, almost callously, like He spoke to the rich young ruler in Luke 18, who He invited to give up everything that was valuable to him: “Forget the past, move on, we don’t have time for grief, for what needs to be left in the past, I’ve got so many new and better things for you, but they require you to forget the old ways, to be ready to learn new things.”

In our small, semi-rural community, we have spent the past nine months – the time of gestation! – pondering all this.

What does it look like to be a Kingdom people, to step into something new, to step into what God has for us?

What do we bring with us?

What do we leave behind?

What needs to change?

In the last weeks, in the middle of arguably the world’s harshest, but most certainly longest lockdown, rather than look at all the things we can’t do, we have been doing what we can, as well as asking the question around what we can do in new ways. Meeting together has obviously had it’s challenges in many places around the world. For us, a few weeks back we were told we could meet outside the church with five plus a pastor. So we have.

A couple of days a week, we have stood outside our church with a guitar and our masks, and we have worshipped God and prayed, possibly to the amusement of the mechanics across the street and others walking past. We are not polished, we are far from perfect, we haven’t practiced, but we stand there in confidence and faith that God is with us, and that what we do there is important.

In the middle of this, there have been a number of confirmations that God is not concerned about us getting back to “church as usual” inside our buildings. I actually think He is overjoyed that we are coming out! Perhaps that is one of the “unknowns” Jesus is calling us all to. To be really harsh, we might hear Him call to us:

“Lazarus, come out!”

This makes me think of Martha’s response: “…by this time he stinketh”, and I am reminded of items I have collected that are from the past, whether my own, or from the generations before. When I bring them out of storage, there is usually a bit of a smell about them, a smell of mustiness, of staleness. To be blunt, for many of us, it is time for us to freshen up, to start carrying the fragrance of heaven, rather than the fragrance of everything from the past. Just like yesterday’s dinner smells are no longer as appetising as they were when we sat down to that meal, we need to open up and let the wind of the Spirit freshen and clean out what belongs to the past. We must let go of it.

And just as James admonishes in James 2:17, “…faith by itself, unaccompanied by actions, is dead.”, it’s time for us to show that our faith is indeed alive, filled with the abundant life, the overflowing life that Jesus promised us, through our actions. There is such need, such hunger, such poverty in our communities, whether that is physical, emotional or spiritual. Will we continue to be blind to it? As painful as it can be, can we afford to keep it at arm’s length and not allow it to touch our hearts?

As we worshipped and shared in the front yard of our church on Thursday, we had a discussion about what God has for us in this new season and I felt to read again from Acts 2, where Peter stands up and says, “‘The Lord says: “In the Last Days, I will pour out from my Spirit upon everyone. Your sons and daughters will prophesy, your young men will see visions, your old men will dream dreams. Even on my slaves, both men and women, will I pour out from my Spirit in those days; and they will prophesy.”

Even as I started to read, the word “POUR” leapt up in my heart. God does not give us His Spirit by drip feed, or on occasion, or when we are particularly being “good-enough”, or “spiritual”. His promise is to “POUR IT OUT”. One of the ladies in our church is starting a painting that is three metres high and is of a waterfall with a person under it. I believe this is what God has for each of us – that just as Jesus POURED OUT His life for us, He continues to POUR OUT His Spirit over and in us. We just have to position ourselves at His feet, like Mary, to receive from Him. It is a place of humility; it is a place of letting go of our personal preferences, our personal desires; it is the place of SURRENDER.

The only question that remains is,

“AM I WILLING?”

“ Therefore, prepare your minds for action; be self-controlled; set your hope fully on the grace to be given to you when Jesus Christ is revealed.” (1 Peter 1:13 )

The roadmap to freedom in the middle of lockdown.

Getting the news a week or so back that we would continue in intense lockdown for at least another two weeks sent me into something of a tailspin. Perhaps, like many, I’d been holding on to the belief that we would be able to at least lift some of the restrictions. But no. The hopelessness, powerlessness and despair I was feeling about our circumstances was threatening to overwhelm me.

Seeking the Lord for a way out of this emotional space, one that I could engage with, I found Him challenging me anew from an unexpected direction.

The answer was in forgiveness.

Forgiving someone I have no relationship with, no personal ability to impact (at least humanly speaking) but who had a great deal of power over me and my life was a whole new level for me, but I knew it was the answer for my true freedom. And even as I was struggling with this challenge and my lack of desire to forgive, I had a vision.

Jesus, face filled with joy and perhaps some amusement, pointed to something I was clutching in my hand, holding tight to myself. It was like He was giving me a playful poke: “what’s that you’re holding?” Looking at what He was showing me, I saw a black sticky ball of muck. Straight away, I knew what it was. Bitterness. Anger. Resentment. Frustration. The question was obvious. “Do you want to hold on to all that muck?”

No!

I am well aware that forgiveness is often not easy. However,

If we refuse to release our anger, our bitterness, our hatred, our resentment, I would suggest forgiveness is impossible.

In fact, the picture I had would suggest lots of things are pretty difficult to do when we are clutching a bundle of blackness to ourselves, not to mention the way it contaminates everything we touch.

As I observe many interactions on social media filled with vitriol, anger, belittling and other negative output toward people who have different opinions on either side of what has become the “great divide” of beliefs about pretty much everything these days, I see that

forgiveness is vital to the way ahead.

But it is not easy.

In my own involvement in a reasonably low-level disagreement, I realised the exceptional power of the drive to justify and defend ourselves. To step back and not respond, and especially to choose not to escalate, is tough, especially when others respond with emotive and irrational accusations.

In my own reflections about how to forgive someone I believe to be in the wrong, I heard Jesus’ words echo down through the ages:

“Father, forgive them for they know not what they do”.

Jesus underwent arguably the most unjustified conviction, punishment and painful death, and yet, in the midst of it, He could forgive the perpetrators. How?

Lately, I have found myself reflecting on the idea of Creator God being the Righteous Judge. Too often, it seems we use this to claim His favour toward us, that He will back “me”, because I am in the right. We take our own beliefs, (generally well justified, even if only by ourselves and our support crew), about who or what is good or evil, right or wrong, and overlay them on “God the Judge” to prove that “I am right and you are wrong”.

A major problem with this is that I don’t see the line between good and evil are so much of God’s focus. I think the view He takes in His judgement, the main trajectory of His desire, is much more regarding whether our actions and beliefs lead to life, or lead us to death.

It reminds me of the situation of Joshua at Jericho (Joshua 5:13), where Joshua encounters the angel of the Lord and asks whose side the angel is on. The angel’s response: “No”. In other words, he was not on one side or the other. An article I read recently as I was looking deeper into the concept of “Yahweh Sabaoth” as the Lord of Hosts, suggested similarly to this:

God is not about being on my side or your side, but about fulfilling His plans.

Perhaps it is we who are either on His side or not and perhaps it is time we took ourselves off centre stage and put Him back on! (But that is for another discussion…)

Coming back to forgiveness, I am realising our difficulty with forgiving lies in our judgement. “But Lord, they are wrong and I have been wronged! I won’t let them get away with it! Can’t I at least justify myself, prove to them that I am right and they are wrong?” I see Him with His finger on the big red buzzer. BZZZZTT! Wrong answer!

Forgiveness means I have to lay down my right and desire for personal justice, for personal vindication and exoneration. Sometimes God may grant these to us. Often (in my experience), He doesn’t, at least not in the overt way we might like. In the end, we have to lay all this desire down and allow God to be Judge. Only He knows all the details, all the heart motivations, not to mention the future and how it all ties into His plans, so only He can judge perfectly.

While we hold on to our own judgements about situations and people, we effectively “throw a spanner in the works”, at the very least in our personal journey and connection into His plans. If we want to see His perfect judgement at work, we need to lay down our own judgement (remembering that it will be by the same standards we will be judged – see Matt 7:1,2), which means forgiving:

“Not mine to punish, Lord, not mine to convict, not mine to determine the outcome and direction. I TRUST YOU to be the Righteous Judge and bring about Your judgements and outcomes in Your timing to maximise LIFE and because it will bring about Your purposes, just at the right time.”

The real kicker is, though, this is not something we can simply give intellectual assent to and move on. Unless we do the actual work of forgiveness, speaking it out, we will remain stuck. It can be tough, it can take time, and it can be a very real battle with our emotions - often it is an act of our will well before our emotions come along with us. To be the true Body of Christ, to be His pure Bride, though, we must shift out of the mentality of division and breaking unity, of holding on to our need or desire to be right over relationship, or we will not be able to partake in all that He has for us. But more on that soon!

(And if this is something that you struggle with in how to process it all, or just want someone to walk the journey of forgiveness with, please don’t hesitate to contact me. It would be my privilege to walk with you on this.)