A place to pause and reflect
Travelling Lightly: What you need to ditch for 2022 (Part 2)
It has taken me some time to land this second part of examining what I believe we need to get rid of this year. It has been difficult because I am still somewhat unresolved around it myself. It is an issue that seems to permeate every aspect of life and is quite possibly a major root to many problems in our world. Unfortunately, it doesn’t seem to be something we can just “turn off”. Indeed, it is a powerful protection mechanism we use at every level. And given that it’s outworking ultimately leads to death, perhaps the midst of Lent is a very appropriate time to discuss it.
Judgement.
We are all familiar with Jesus’ words about this, even if we know little else He said:
“Judge not, that ye be not judged”
(Matt 7:1).
It has become very much a catch cry of this generation. Words such as, “Ooo, judgy”, or “don’t be so judgemental” get thrown around for the simple “sin” of giving my view about something or someone’s actions.
But we need judgement and its close relative, discernment every day.
Just think. You take that food out of the fridge and sniff it cautiously, making a judgement on whether it is still good to eat. Or those socks or other items of clothing on your teenager’s floor – are they really dirty, or just clean laundry that never made it to the wardrobe? Again, the sniff test…or maybe not! We make judgements about what we will wear or do according to the weather. When I am crossing the road, I make a judgement whether I can get across before that car comes. We make judgements moment by moment about whether or not a fight for something we value is worth the effort, along with our judgement of the level of hope we have of winning. You get the idea. Our judgements can mean the difference between life and death…And they can also make and break relationships.
In trying to determine where the line between what is acceptable and what is not in the realm of judgement, a few points have come across my path in the last while.
The first is that the gift of discernment (the ability to see clearly what is going on in a situation) is not there to bring judgement onto people, but to give accuracy in how to pray. Hmmm…when was the last time that prayer was my first response to a sticky situation? And did I stop long enough to listen to God’s answer to me??
The second is that when we cast judgement in a situation, we actually start to take responsibility for the outcome of that situation. That is, we are basically making a declaration that we know what is wrong, therefore we know what is right, leading to us supposedly having the wisdom and ability to fix what we see as wrong. I found this thought very impacting. I mean, who wants to take that sort of responsibility for everyone else? It is hard enough doing it for myself!!
This leads me back to two other aspects that are closely related.
Returning to my last blog, identity is central to this. Knowing who I am and what my role is (and isn’t!) will impact greatly on what I take responsibility for.
The other aspect is the continuing focus on the knowledge of good and evil. Judgement sits smack bang in the middle of this. Whether we acknowledge it (or like it!), for better or worse, we continually make judgements about what is right or wrong, what is good or evil. In every culture in the world, down to every relationship, we have beliefs and understandings around this. The big issue is, what is the alternative? (Shameless plug - if you want to delve a bit deeper into this, check out my new book, “Untruth: Exploring truth in a post-truth world”.)
It reminds me of the scene in the book (and movie), “The Shack” (William P. Young), where Mack is talking with Wisdom. In answer to his question of what he is doing there, she answers: “You’re here for judgement…today, you are the judge.” As they explore the ultimate consequences of judgement – judging who should go to hell, she asks Mack to judge his own children. On his response of “take me instead”, he is told that he has judged well; that he has judged his children worthy of love.
For me, this is really the landing point of what to do with judgement.
Moving into this year, I have had a growing conviction that we should at least severely curtail our propensity to sit in judgement of others and particularly situations where we have little firsthand knowledge of the circumstances. As we do, we lay down the burden of responsibility as well. The reality is, Jesus has already taken responsibility for every person’s sin and brokenness on the cross. We cannot do more. We cannot fix others better than that, either. As we step away from that responsibility, we find space for the freedom to step into the responsibility we have been given: to love my neighbour as myself.
And coming back to Mack, and what Jesus, again, has already done, we are to judge each person, every single one on this planet, as worthy of love. As we reach out in unconditional love to those around us, even when, or perhaps especially when they do wrong by us, we free ourselves from the terrible responsibility of not only fixing them, but also of deciding when they have been punished enough. When we realise the limitations of our accountability to each other, and allow, or understand more completely, that God is the only One who judges perfectly, we are set free to get on with the business of working with Him to grow us to maturity, just as He will with others.
Tying this all together with our identity, I am reminded again of several scriptures I believe have a great impact on our understanding of our faith. In I John 4:19, we are told that we love because God first loved us. For sometime now, I have connected this with Revelations 2:4, regarding the loss of our first love – that we are cautioned against forgetting that any capacity we have to love others, even God, must come from our capacity to first receive His love for us. It is from our experience of being loved by God that we can, in turn, love others. This is very much tied in with 1 Corinthians 13, where we are told that, without love as the motivating force, anything we do for others or for God is worthless.
As we continue into this year ahead, my prayer is that, as the people of God, we would find our true identity in Him, even as we are filled to overflowing with His amazing, abundant love for us, which in turn, enables us to truly judge others just as worthy of love and love them accordingly.
Further thoughts, questions, or disagreements with anything here? Feel free to drop a line in the comments.
Love, judgement and Israel Folau – maybe we got it wrong!
In the last month or so, the sharp rise in the open hostility of certain Christian groups toward other sections of the Christian community on social media has stunned me. The level of condemnation and vitriol seems to have escalated to the point that I wonder if there is any space for restoration of unity. I find it disturbing and disappointing to say the least.
How do we find a way through this mess of differing opinions when our emotions are running so high?
The latest outcry, of course, has been around groups within the Christian body raising funds for Folau’s legal case to dispute his dismissal. One question being raised is whether this is an acceptable use of people’s private funds or whether these funds should rather be spent helping those who are in need in our communities.
In reading some strongly expressed comments denouncing those who had given to the Folau fund, I found myself wanting to respond equally ferociously with, “How dare you judge others on what they spend where when you spend your money doing xxx!”- until the mirror reflected back my own judgements on the rights and wrongs of our spending!
Whichever side of the fence you sit (or even if you are like me and sitting firmly on the fence over much of the circus surrounding this issue), one thing is plain. The spiral of division and judgement into hatred within the Christian community in Australia seems to have escalated in the last months - or was I just blind to it?
Believing as I do that unity is of particular value and importance in releasing the qualities of the Kingdom of God on earth, my prayer is that we start to take our judgements of others to God instead of each other and see what He might have to say about them.
If I take my accusation to God about what someone else spends their money on, for example, I think He might well come back and confront me with some of my spending. If I bring my judgement of another’s lack of love toward a particular group, the lovelessness in my own feelings for that “unloving” person may become the topic of conversation.
Lately, I have started to realise just how many judgments I make, moment by moment, day by day. Many of these are so “normal” to me I cannot see that different may be ok or may even have an extenuating explanation. It can be as simple as judging whether everyone else should enjoy something as much as I do (aka: food; music; cold weather; certain smells) to how people behave on the road, treat their children, keep their house/workspace/car, how they dress, what they do with their time and so on and so on. Some of this comes from an inherent belief that “my way is the right way” (which is where our stereotypes and many of our negative opinions of certain people groups comes from), but sometimes I think it is about something else.
One of the valued traits of Christianity is the idea of justice and mercy. The recognition of God’s heart toward those who are most vulnerable and in need in our communities has become front and centre for many Christians. The recognition that our faith isn’t and shouldn’t be all about our own comfort and safety has shifted many from a place of complacency and perhaps self-centredness.
However, as we step into this place of awareness we can become even more conscious of others who are not on the same journey. Because it is of such importance to us, we cannot fathom why they would not understand. We then make the next leap to believe that we are the one to tell them they should get on board with the same agenda!
It is so tempting to be the warrior out there fighting for truth, justice and liberty/tolerance or whatever other noun is flavour of the month. In my own journey, I have to admit to failing to understand why people don’t see what I am involved with as important as I do. Seeing the struggles and horrific lives some people live, the passion to make things better can be overwhelming.
Unfortunately - and I think this is where the rubber hits the road - we are not always happy to stop there. We can have such a strong desire to make someone to pay. Someone is to blame for this, so retribution is a vital part of the process. Or so we think.
And it is here that judgement comes marching in. I set myself up as the judge and jury to decide who must pay, how much and why. I assume I know the hearts, minds and motivations of others before I have even asked or know anything about what is going on for them now or in the past, or what their story really is. Unfortunately, relationship is often the first casualty when we choose “truth” over unity.
This quote from “The Shack” (Wm Paul Young) discussing the “choice to facilitate relationship” by meeting a person at their own level really spoke to me:
“You don’t play a game or color a picture with a child to show your superiority. Rather, you choose to limit yourself so as to facilitate and honor that relationship. You will even lose a competition to accomplish love. It is not about winning and losing, but about love and respect.”
Sitting in judgement, carving off large swathes of people because we assume we know what they think and why is so destructive. In the end, the only winner is the enemy of our souls.
I know I have grappled with the idea that people need to know the truth of their behaviour: something has to be done to protect those in danger and why not me? And there is truth in that.
However, when I think about the times I have been most open to change myself, it has been when someone has approached me with loving kindness. When we come to others from a place of offence, it rarely ends well. In fact, rather than coming to us with a list of our offences, we read in Romans 2:4 (NIV) that it is God showing us His kindness that helps us toward repentance. Awkwardly, He expects the same from us. Paul is pretty blatant here:
“You, therefore, have no excuse, you who pass judgment on someone else, for at whatever point you judge another, you are condemning yourself, because you who pass judgment do the same things. Now we know that God’s judgment against those who do such things is based on truth. So when you, a mere human being, pass judgment on them and yet do the same things, do you think you will escape God’s judgment? Or do you show contempt for the riches of his kindness, forbearance and patience, not realizing that God’s kindness is intended to lead you to repentance?”
I am confronted again and again by my own lack of checking in with God about my way of thinking and responding to others. I guess it is a major part of our journey with Him – learning to stop and listen to His heart, to listen to what He thinks and see things from a better perspective: His. My prayer is that we can all step back from this mess, reassess our own part in it and contribute to the clean up before it is too late.