Captivating Thoughts

I know I am not alone in having times finding myself awake with racing thoughts in the early hours of the morning. In fact, over the last few weeks, circumstances in our personal lives alongside the usual state, national and global issues have given me even more material. And I also know it doesn’t have to be the middle of the night – they can be just as debilitating during the day. The worst part is, sometimes we don’t even realise that we have a choice to think differently, let alone know how!

Seeking God in this place more recently, the words “take every thought captive” has been His response.

We can demolish every deceptive fantasy that opposes God and break through every arrogant attitude that is raised up in defiance of the true knowledge of God. We capture, like prisoners of war, every thought and insist that it bow in obedience to the Anointed One. (2 Cor 10:5, TPT)

But how do I do this, especially at 2, 3, 4 in the morning, when everything seems so dark and so real? My thoughts are based in facts, aren’t they? Things are as bad as they seem, aren’t they? This really has and is happening to me, to us!

How do I take every thought captive? Especially at that point where it feels worse than the proverbial herding of cats?

I am reminded of the comment a friend used to say to me in past times: “How do you stop thinking about pink elephants?” Thinking yourself out of thinking something can get a little circular.

In a number of ways, the Lord has been reminding me that He is the only answer to problems like this, that I will only find the solution in and though Him. He is training me to seek Him and ask Him for help in all these arenas, rather than relying on my own abilities, skills or practices. And they seem to be different every time. The same “formula” rarely works more than a short time. He wants me to keep coming back to Him.

So, one night, I just asked Him to help:

“Lord, I can’t take my thoughts captive. I need Your help!”

Next thing I knew, it was morning.

Another night, I asked Him to help me captivate my thoughts and He gave me a butterfly net, which He and I swept around the “room” in my head, catching every thought like butterflies before they could land. My mind was immediately blank and I could not even think of anything to think of, let alone remember what I had been thinking about.

In this season, I have such a sense that God is calling each of us into greater intimacy with Him. This means leaning on Him in ways we haven’t in the past. It means coming to Him as a child, helpless and dependant. Next time you find yourself stuck on the merry-go-round with your thoughts, try Him. Ask Him. It might be just as simple as “Help me, please”, or you might move on to “what do You want me to do with these thoughts?”, or “how do you want me to deal with this?” He promises that those who seek Him and ask will not be disappointed.

Matt 7:7 “Keep asking, and it will be given to you; keep seeking, and you will find; keep knocking, and the door will be opened to you.” (CJB)

It's not the issue you think!

Late last year, I had one of those moments when I suddenly saw something it was then impossible to “unsee”. While you’ll be relieved to know it wasn’t something visually untoward, it was an insight that completely changed my perspective and understanding. The obvious nature of it left me feeling both a little gobsmacked that I hadn’t seen it earlier, but also thinking it must be obvious to everyone and I was the last to see it. I still think it is pretty obvious, but perhaps people put it into the too hard basket, or for other reasons don’t want to engage.

My moment was around what I see as the major issue of our times. It has probably always been a major player, but in this season of great polarisation, it must become front and centre for all, no matter which side of the great divide you live on.

While so many are engaging with issues of masks, vaccines, virus, globalisation, climate change, radical laws, or whatever other polarising issue you’d like to pick, I suddenly realised that our enemy’s actual plan is to create as much division and strife as possible in our communities, societies and culture, and many of us are jumping on board and doing all the heavy lifting. It has happened far too quickly and easily.

As I have reflected on what God has been saying and showing me around this, I found myself confronted again and again with the numbers 222. I woke up at 2:22am, I looked at the clock later in the day: 2:22pm. 222 on the odometer, and then it was the turn of 111, even to the improbably cheap price of fuel: $1.11!

In the last few years, I have become more aware of the way numbers, letters and even pictures are all wrapped up in each character of the Hebrew alphabet. Each letter contains a wealth of information, not immediately obvious to those of us only familiar with the Roman (English) alphabet and how it works. There are no separate symbols for numerals – they simply use the letters to double up as numbers. So, seeing all these 2’s and 1’s, I went to one of my sources looking at the meanings associated with the letters that represent these numbers.

It was here I had another revelation. Both 1 and 2 are to do with unity. In my research there are some interesting links between 1 and 2. It is quite obvious that 1 is about unity - the concept of being in “oneness”. The number 111 is further reflective of the unity of the trinity. However, when I read through some information about 2, the information went back to the Garden of Eden. Here, we find that God took the “one” man, and through the division of taking a rib from his side, created a second person. Through the process of division, one became two. (Beautifully, in the creation of every new human being now, we see another take on this process: first two cells come together to become one, and then, through division and multiplication, they form one new being!)

In this place of differentiation, however, the risk of disunity came into being. There were now two who had the opportunity to have different opinions, to allow offence and hurt and all other types of dissension or discord. In the middle of all this possibility for division and break down, God also illustrated the way to a bond of unity through the marriage relationship – a precursor if you will, of the pathway to unity Jesus would bring. At the end of Genesis 2, we are told in verse 24 (CJB) “…a man…will stick with his wife and they are to be one flesh”.

I found this astounding. First God divided, then He brings back unity, a unity ultimately made possible through the death and resurrection of Jesus. One became two, given the choice to become one again, the choice to be in unity or to separate.

Even more beautifully, the picture of physical unity in marriage overlays onto the Church, the Body of Christ, His Bride! Alongside my ruminations of unity, the journey has included the concept of “unveiling”. One of my favourite passages of Scripture is from 2 Cor 3:18, where Paul reflects on the difference between Moses, who hid the fading glory of his encounters with God behind a veil, and our calling to have our faces unveiled, as God transforms us into His image, reflecting His glory to the world.

During a prayer time, I had a really overwhelmingly lovely picture of us as Jesus’ Bride. It was at the point in the wedding service where the groom lifts the veil and kisses the Bride. There were so many layers to this. The kiss is about sealing His commitment to us, His people. It’s about a covenant with Him, and it is about the fact that He already laid down His life for us. Then, as He lifts the veil, everyone (the whole world) gets to see the beauty and glory of the Bride. As a female, this is an easy vision to sit with. I suspect it may be a little more challenging for men. The question in the midst of the vision is whether we are willing to allow Him to truly husband us – to be our Protector, our Guide. Are we willing to submit all our desires to Him? And even more challenging, is the Bride, the Church, ready to be revealed, and in turn, to reveal God’s glory to the world? If we sit in the mess of disunity, perhaps not so much!

The starting point to having unity with each other is first to walk in unity with God. John 17:20-26 has been another scripture I have been sitting with for a number of years. As one of the longest recorded prayers of Jesus, it is obviously important. It is where Jesus prays for the unity of all believers; that our unity would be like the unity between Father God and Jesus – that we would be inseparable. I think it is one of the key areas the enemy likes to attack us in: divide and conquer!

The antidote to our disunity is all wrapped up in the two commandments Jesus gave us. Love God and love each other as ourselves.

Hmmm, how good are we at loving ourselves? 1 John (chapter 4 particularly), gives us a very clear insight into the Source of love. We must first receive God’s love, allow His love to impact and transform us, to lift us up, which requires us to see our own value and identity through His eyes, before we will be able to adequately love others. We must stop getting our identity, value and love primarily through the imperfect reflections we get from others. It must come from our ever deepening relationship with God.

Unity is all wrapped up in love.

We don’t have a hope in any relationship, in being the Church, or in impacting the world around us with the Kingdom of God until we can love unconditionally – not just when we’ve been “good”; not just when we agree with each other; not just when we have the same views about the “important” issues, but when we are (again!), willing to lay down our need to be “right” to preserve relationship. We can’t do it without God’s help though.

As a third wheel to all this, my word for this year is peace. I rejected it the first time round, and when it came up again, I groaned. I saw it as the cousin of patience: you only get it by experiencing the opposite!

However, as I took time to reflect on it and ask God about it, the Hebrew word “shalom” came to mind, so I went on a deep dive into its meaning. Some of the associated implications are: wholeness; integrity; harmony; completeness; unbrokenness; full; undividedness. Further, the post on Abarim Publications suggests that “peace-making” is about “Achieving such a level of understanding of irreconcilable elements that these can be understood and joined in…” Such promise! So much joy contained in these ideas!

Unity!

We can’t have unity without shalom-peace and unconditional love.

I suspect most of us have a significant journey of experience before we come anywhere near to doing unity well. I know I do. I know how much of a journey it has been to come to any place of unity and unconditional love within myself and I don’t claim to be at the end of that one. However, I do know that it is not something God expects us to do alone, to do in our own strength. He has given us His Holy Spirit for precisely that purpose – to help and guide us through, to show us the way to love well and to live in unity. All we need to do is decide whether we partner with Holy Spirit, or with the enemy of our souls. Every moment of every day is a new opportunity to choose!

(These photos were taken on our walk on Valentine’s Day in lockdown - someone had placed them at various places along the path. Such a lovely treasure hunt!)