A place to pause and reflect

Ruth Embery Ruth Embery

Travelling Lightly: What you need to ditch for 2022 (Part 2)

It has taken me some time to land this second part of examining what I believe we need to get rid of this year. It has been difficult because I am still somewhat unresolved around it myself. It is an issue that seems to permeate every aspect of life and is quite possibly a major root to many problems in our world. Unfortunately, it doesn’t seem to be something we can just “turn off”. Indeed, it is a powerful protection mechanism we use at every level. And given that it’s outworking ultimately leads to death, perhaps the midst of Lent is a very appropriate time to discuss it.

Judgement.

We are all familiar with Jesus’ words about this, even if we know little else He said:

“Judge not, that ye be not judged”

(Matt 7:1).

It has become very much a catch cry of this generation. Words such as, “Ooo, judgy”, or “don’t be so judgemental” get thrown around for the simple “sin” of giving my view about something or someone’s actions.

But we need judgement and its close relative, discernment every day.

Just think. You take that food out of the fridge and sniff it cautiously, making a judgement on whether it is still good to eat. Or those socks or other items of clothing on your teenager’s floor – are they really dirty, or just clean laundry that never made it to the wardrobe? Again, the sniff test…or maybe not! We make judgements about what we will wear or do according to the weather. When I am crossing the road, I make a judgement whether I can get across before that car comes. We make judgements moment by moment about whether or not a fight for something we value is worth the effort, along with our judgement of the level of hope we have of winning. You get the idea. Our judgements can mean the difference between life and death…And they can also make and break relationships.

In trying to determine where the line between what is acceptable and what is not in the realm of judgement, a few points have come across my path in the last while.

The first is that the gift of discernment (the ability to see clearly what is going on in a situation) is not there to bring judgement onto people, but to give accuracy in how to pray. Hmmm…when was the last time that prayer was my first response to a sticky situation? And did I stop long enough to listen to God’s answer to me??

The second is that when we cast judgement in a situation, we actually start to take responsibility for the outcome of that situation. That is, we are basically making a declaration that we know what is wrong, therefore we know what is right, leading to us supposedly having the wisdom and ability to fix what we see as wrong. I found this thought very impacting. I mean, who wants to take that sort of responsibility for everyone else? It is hard enough doing it for myself!!

This leads me back to two other aspects that are closely related.

Returning to my last blog, identity is central to this. Knowing who I am and what my role is (and isn’t!) will impact greatly on what I take responsibility for.

The other aspect is the continuing focus on the knowledge of good and evil. Judgement sits smack bang in the middle of this. Whether we acknowledge it (or like it!), for better or worse, we continually make judgements about what is right or wrong, what is good or evil. In every culture in the world, down to every relationship, we have beliefs and understandings around this. The big issue is, what is the alternative? (Shameless plug - if you want to delve a bit deeper into this, check out my new book, “Untruth: Exploring truth in a post-truth world”.)

It reminds me of the scene in the book (and movie), “The Shack” (William P. Young), where Mack is talking with Wisdom. In answer to his question of what he is doing there, she answers: “You’re here for judgement…today, you are the judge.” As they explore the ultimate consequences of judgement – judging who should go to hell, she asks Mack to judge his own children. On his response of “take me instead”, he is told that he has judged well; that he has judged his children worthy of love.

For me, this is really the landing point of what to do with judgement.

Moving into this year, I have had a growing conviction that we should at least severely curtail our propensity to sit in judgement of others and particularly situations where we have little firsthand knowledge of the circumstances. As we do, we lay down the burden of responsibility as well. The reality is, Jesus has already taken responsibility for every person’s sin and brokenness on the cross. We cannot do more. We cannot fix others better than that, either. As we step away from that responsibility, we find space for the freedom to step into the responsibility we have been given: to love my neighbour as myself.

And coming back to Mack, and what Jesus, again, has already done, we are to judge each person, every single one on this planet, as worthy of love. As we reach out in unconditional love to those around us, even when, or perhaps especially when they do wrong by us, we free ourselves from the terrible responsibility of not only fixing them, but also of deciding when they have been punished enough. When we realise the limitations of our accountability to each other, and allow, or understand more completely, that God is the only One who judges perfectly, we are set free to get on with the business of working with Him to grow us to maturity, just as He will with others.

Tying this all together with our identity, I am reminded again of several scriptures I believe have a great impact on our understanding of our faith. In I John 4:19, we are told that we love because God first loved us. For sometime now, I have connected this with Revelations 2:4, regarding the loss of our first love – that we are cautioned against forgetting that any capacity we have to love others, even God, must come from our capacity to first receive His love for us. It is from our experience of being loved by God that we can, in turn, love others. This is very much tied in with 1 Corinthians 13, where we are told that, without love as the motivating force, anything we do for others or for God is worthless.

As we continue into this year ahead, my prayer is that, as the people of God, we would find our true identity in Him, even as we are filled to overflowing with His amazing, abundant love for us, which in turn, enables us to truly judge others just as worthy of love and love them accordingly.

Further thoughts, questions, or disagreements with anything here? Feel free to drop a line in the comments.

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Travelling Lightly: What you need to ditch for 2022 (Part 1)

One of the biggest weights most of us carry is that of our identity. And I believe one of the most transformative actions we can engage in for ourselves and the world around us is to let it go. And I also believe that it is more important than ever to do this.

But what does it mean to let go of our identity?

So many of our interactions with the world and each other clog up our identity. What others around us reflect back to us, our experiences through life and even our theology all greatly impact our sense of who we are. “Shoulds”, “should haves”, “could haves” and “would haves”, as well as a host of other regrets, incriminations and put downs that the enemy loves to use to keep us trapped, take over our being until we feel depleted, unworthy and empty.

How then, does letting go of my identity fill me up?

This is an ongoing journey with a number of layers.

In the first instance, it may be about letting go of the identities we have picked up from others, or even our beliefs about what it means to be a Christian or, indeed, any other label we have placed on ourselves. Mother, sister, brother, teacher, accountant, the brainy one, the dumb one, the good one, the bad one. Even those things we feel good about can become a hindrance. Just another standard we have to keep up to. And sometimes we have played roles for so long, and invested so much into them that we no longer really know who we are.

Another aspect is our preparedness to be vulnerable.

This has been a theme for some time now. The idea of being unveiled or removing the masks we hide behind has cropped up more times than I can remember. I recently came across an album called “Road to DeMaskUs”. It immediately caught my attention as it linked in with so many discussions over the last year or so that seem to constantly land on this same point around identity.

Thinking about the connotations of the road to Damascus, about Paul’s journey which began in earnest there, it was indeed a time of “de-masking” for him. The change was extraordinary, and even led to a name change. In Philippians 3:8, after sharing his worldly credentials, he actually says that they are all dung, refuse, sewerage compared to gaining Jesus. Paul was prepared to get rid of everything rather than it hindering his relationship with the Messiah.

This is something I have been pondering for some time: what it looks like to completely abandon all that our culture considers rights and freedom; what it looks like to completely lay down my life – my identities, including my ego – to the point where I have and am nothing, so that He, living in me, is all.

Many of our identity ideas connect to our will. What we will, desire, want is our way of asserting our identity as an individual. However, I am sensing more and more that so much of this can actually come between us and God. It is an add on.

In the wonderful passage of John 15, where Jesus describes how we are to abide in Him as branches joined in to Him - and if branches, then we must identify with or even as Him, with His life force growing and developing in us, His DNA becomes ours. As He continues, discussing our relationship with each other, He talks of “laying down our lives” for each other.

Doing a quick word search into the original language, the word translated “life” could also refer to “soul”, meaning our heart, our passions, our will and desires. Sounds like our identity to me. In our individualistic society, that’s a pretty tall order! How many of us are willing to put others ahead of us to that degree?

And yet, in our relationship with Jesus, we know this is what He requires. How successful we are is a whole other discussion.

“If anyone would come after me, let him deny himself and take up his cross and follow me. For whoever would save his life [IDENTITY] will lose it, but whoever loses his life [IDENTITY] for my sake will find it. For what will it profit a man if he gains the whole world and forfeits his soul [IDENTITY]? Or what shall a man give in return for his soul [IDENTITY]?”

(Matt 16:24-26, ESV).

Am I prepared to become nothing, no one, in order to increase in oneness with Jesus? Just as John the Baptiser said, “It is necessary for him to increase and for me to decrease” (John 3:30 TPT). The only way I can become one with Jesus is for me to decrease. He certainly won’t! And yet, we are told that this is the place in which we truly find abundant life and freedom.

In my own journey, the rubber has really been hitting the road with this in the last couple of years. It is in those places of rejection, lack of acknowledgement, hurt, disappointment, those places where it feels as though I am nothing, worthless - this is the place where I have a huge choice in front of me. Will I try to get vindication, validation from others? Will I come out fighting for my honour and reputation? Do I try to show everyone that you are the bad person, that I am the victim? Or can I lay myself down, allow myself to be crucified as it were? Do I trust all these things to God, even trust that He is in the middle of it all and has a purpose for it - my becoming more like Jesus?

No, it is not easy. Yes, it can be excruciatingly lonely. And no, many will not get it. After all, He did say “but it is a narrow gate and a hard road that leads to life, and only a few find it” (Matt 7:14 CJB). Why do I keep thinking, or hoping, it will somehow be different for me?

May 2022 be the year each of us lays down our identities, our egos and our wills to His for the sake of the Kingdom, each other and our world. Imagine the difference it would make. But it starts with me and it starts with you!

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Captivating Thoughts

I know I am not alone in having times finding myself awake with racing thoughts in the early hours of the morning. In fact, over the last few weeks, circumstances in our personal lives alongside the usual state, national and global issues have given me even more material. And I also know it doesn’t have to be the middle of the night – they can be just as debilitating during the day. The worst part is, sometimes we don’t even realise that we have a choice to think differently, let alone know how!

Seeking God in this place more recently, the words “take every thought captive” has been His response.

We can demolish every deceptive fantasy that opposes God and break through every arrogant attitude that is raised up in defiance of the true knowledge of God. We capture, like prisoners of war, every thought and insist that it bow in obedience to the Anointed One. (2 Cor 10:5, TPT)

But how do I do this, especially at 2, 3, 4 in the morning, when everything seems so dark and so real? My thoughts are based in facts, aren’t they? Things are as bad as they seem, aren’t they? This really has and is happening to me, to us!

How do I take every thought captive? Especially at that point where it feels worse than the proverbial herding of cats?

I am reminded of the comment a friend used to say to me in past times: “How do you stop thinking about pink elephants?” Thinking yourself out of thinking something can get a little circular.

In a number of ways, the Lord has been reminding me that He is the only answer to problems like this, that I will only find the solution in and though Him. He is training me to seek Him and ask Him for help in all these arenas, rather than relying on my own abilities, skills or practices. And they seem to be different every time. The same “formula” rarely works more than a short time. He wants me to keep coming back to Him.

So, one night, I just asked Him to help:

“Lord, I can’t take my thoughts captive. I need Your help!”

Next thing I knew, it was morning.

Another night, I asked Him to help me captivate my thoughts and He gave me a butterfly net, which He and I swept around the “room” in my head, catching every thought like butterflies before they could land. My mind was immediately blank and I could not even think of anything to think of, let alone remember what I had been thinking about.

In this season, I have such a sense that God is calling each of us into greater intimacy with Him. This means leaning on Him in ways we haven’t in the past. It means coming to Him as a child, helpless and dependant. Next time you find yourself stuck on the merry-go-round with your thoughts, try Him. Ask Him. It might be just as simple as “Help me, please”, or you might move on to “what do You want me to do with these thoughts?”, or “how do you want me to deal with this?” He promises that those who seek Him and ask will not be disappointed.

Matt 7:7 “Keep asking, and it will be given to you; keep seeking, and you will find; keep knocking, and the door will be opened to you.” (CJB)

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How's your heart health?

The mouth speaks what the heart is full of.

This phrase from Luke 6:45 popped into my mind the other day. However, rather than it being about condemnation and judgement, I felt God showing me that it was an opportunity, a key to connect with God. I felt Him saying,

“Listen to what comes out of your mouth. It will give you an idea of what is going on in your heart. If there is anything that’s not great, it’s an indicator of something going on in your heart that needs attention. You now have the opportunity to bring that part of your heart to Me for healing and restoration.”

We all need to listen to what comes out of our mouth. Is it frustration and negativity? Bitterness? Annoyance and anger? Hurt, malice, discord, even hatred? James tells us, “With the tongue we praise our Lord and Father, and with it we curse human beings, who have been made in God’s likeness. Out of the same mouth come praise and cursing...this should not be. Can both fresh water and salt water flow from the same spring…can a fig tree bear olives, or a grapevine bear figs? Neither can a salt spring produce fresh water.” (James 3:9-12, NIV)

If we believe we have God’s Holy Spirit in us, what comes out of our mouths should reflect this. Galatians 5 gives us a great idea of what this looks like:

Love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control.

How wonderful is our God that He gives us the opportunity for transformation, to become more like Him? However, how often do we not take this opportunity, instead resorting to our same old methods of self-protection and self-preservation?

Hebrews 3 repeatedly quotes a verse from Ps 95 - “Today, if you hear his voice, do not harden your hearts as you did in the rebellion…”

Why do we harden our hearts?

Again, I believe it is our self-protection. Right from our early years we experience hurt, disappointment, anger, frustration at some point. We learn that the world is not safe, that other people are not safe, and so, we find that if we want to feel safe (physically or emotionally), we have to do it for ourselves. Sometimes that is by lashing out ourselves, using our bodies, our voice or our words. Others learn it is safer to hide away. We might do a mixture of both. However we protect ourselves, it leads to walls around our hearts, or even callouses. We harden our hearts because we believe the lie that it will protect us from further pain.

Today is an opportunity. I believe that today, right now, where you are, God wants to bring healing to your heart, to take you to another level in freedom.

When we come to a place of worship, it is an interface, a place where we not only get to give God the praise and glory due to Him, but a place where He meets us. We cannot do this properly from a place where we are not prepared to be vulnerable, open and honest with Him. As scary as it can seem, when we lay all our pain, hurt and brokenness out on the table for Him to see, it is the place where healing, wholeness and freedom can come.

The invitation right now is for you to do this with God, either as I sing over you, or put on some quiet worship and spend your own time with Him. The reality is, we cannot fix ourselves. If you have stuff coming out of your mouth and heart that you know is unhelpful, unhealthy, that you know you want change in, now is the time. He can and He will – His desire is for your wholeness. After all, that’s why Jesus came, died and rose again – so you can be free.

This is a photo I took the other morning, where I saw what looked to me like a giant mouth in the sky. The words that came with it were, “The heavens declare the glory of the Lord”. Let our words, hearts and lives also reflect His glory more and more!

“The heavens declare the glory of the Lord”

“The heavens declare the glory of the Lord”

(Backing track is from WORSHIP - DEEP INSTRUMENTAL WORSHIP - (NO COPYRIGHT MUSIC) https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2fixZNIFIbs&t=305s)

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The roadmap to freedom in the middle of lockdown.

Getting the news a week or so back that we would continue in intense lockdown for at least another two weeks sent me into something of a tailspin. Perhaps, like many, I’d been holding on to the belief that we would be able to at least lift some of the restrictions. But no. The hopelessness, powerlessness and despair I was feeling about our circumstances was threatening to overwhelm me.

Seeking the Lord for a way out of this emotional space, one that I could engage with, I found Him challenging me anew from an unexpected direction.

The answer was in forgiveness.

Forgiving someone I have no relationship with, no personal ability to impact (at least humanly speaking) but who had a great deal of power over me and my life was a whole new level for me, but I knew it was the answer for my true freedom. And even as I was struggling with this challenge and my lack of desire to forgive, I had a vision.

Jesus, face filled with joy and perhaps some amusement, pointed to something I was clutching in my hand, holding tight to myself. It was like He was giving me a playful poke: “what’s that you’re holding?” Looking at what He was showing me, I saw a black sticky ball of muck. Straight away, I knew what it was. Bitterness. Anger. Resentment. Frustration. The question was obvious. “Do you want to hold on to all that muck?

No!

I am well aware that forgiveness is often not easy. However,

If we refuse to release our anger, our bitterness, our hatred, our resentment, I would suggest forgiveness is impossible.

In fact, the picture I had would suggest lots of things are pretty difficult to do when we are clutching a bundle of blackness to ourselves, not to mention the way it contaminates everything we touch.

As I observe many interactions on social media filled with vitriol, anger, belittling and other negative output toward people who have different opinions on either side of what has become the “great divide” of beliefs about pretty much everything these days, I see that

forgiveness is vital to the way ahead.

But it is not easy.

In my own involvement in a reasonably low-level disagreement, I realised the exceptional power of the drive to justify and defend ourselves. To step back and not respond, and especially to choose not to escalate, is tough, especially when others respond with emotive and irrational accusations.

In my own reflections about how to forgive someone I believe to be in the wrong, I heard Jesus’ words echo down through the ages:

“Father, forgive them for they know not what they do”.

Jesus underwent arguably the most unjustified conviction, punishment and painful death, and yet, in the midst of it, He could forgive the perpetrators. How?

Lately, I have found myself reflecting on the idea of Creator God being the Righteous Judge. Too often, it seems we use this to claim His favour toward us, that He will back “me”, because I am in the right. We take our own beliefs, (generally well justified, even if only by ourselves and our support crew), about who or what is good or evil, right or wrong, and overlay them on “God the Judge” to prove that “I am right and you are wrong”.

A major problem with this is that I don’t see the line between good and evil are so much of God’s focus. I think the view He takes in His judgement, the main trajectory of His desire, is much more regarding whether our actions and beliefs lead to life, or lead us to death.

It reminds me of the situation of Joshua at Jericho (Joshua 5:13), where Joshua encounters the angel of the Lord and asks whose side the angel is on. The angel’s response: “No”. In other words, he was not on one side or the other. An article I read recently as I was looking deeper into the concept of “Yahweh Sabaoth” as the Lord of Hosts, suggested similarly to this:

God is not about being on my side or your side, but about fulfilling His plans.

Perhaps it is we who are either on His side or not and perhaps it is time we took ourselves off centre stage and put Him back on! (But that is for another discussion…)

Coming back to forgiveness, I am realising our difficulty with forgiving lies in our judgement. “But Lord, they are wrong and I have been wronged! I won’t let them get away with it! Can’t I at least justify myself, prove to them that I am right and they are wrong?” I see Him with His finger on the big red buzzer. BZZZZTT! Wrong answer!

Forgiveness means I have to lay down my right and desire for personal justice, for personal vindication and exoneration. Sometimes God may grant these to us. Often (in my experience), He doesn’t, at least not in the overt way we might like. In the end, we have to lay all this desire down and allow God to be Judge. Only He knows all the details, all the heart motivations, not to mention the future and how it all ties into His plans, so only He can judge perfectly.

While we hold on to our own judgements about situations and people, we effectively “throw a spanner in the works”, at the very least in our personal journey and connection into His plans. If we want to see His perfect judgement at work, we need to lay down our own judgement (remembering that it will be by the same standards we will be judged – see Matt 7:1,2), which means forgiving:

“Not mine to punish, Lord, not mine to convict, not mine to determine the outcome and direction. I TRUST YOU to be the Righteous Judge and bring about Your judgements and outcomes in Your timing to maximise LIFE and because it will bring about Your purposes, just at the right time.”

The real kicker is, though, this is not something we can simply give intellectual assent to and move on. Unless we do the actual work of forgiveness, speaking it out, we will remain stuck. It can be tough, it can take time, and it can be a very real battle with our emotions - often it is an act of our will well before our emotions come along with us. To be the true Body of Christ, to be His pure Bride, though, we must shift out of the mentality of division and breaking unity, of holding on to our need or desire to be right over relationship, or we will not be able to partake in all that He has for us. But more on that soon!

(And if this is something that you struggle with in how to process it all, or just want someone to walk the journey of forgiveness with, please don’t hesitate to contact me. It would be my privilege to walk with you on this.)

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IT'S TIME TO COME OUT OF THE CAVE AND ROAR!

In the last few months, so many of us have been hiding away in the secret place with God, keeping our eyes firmly fixed on Him, riding through this storm under the protection of His wings, or at least trying or learning to. However, I have such a strong sense

It is time for us to come out of the place of hiding and ROAR!

This is not a roar of pain, anger, frustration or distress, but a ROAR of praise and worship, a ROAR OF VICTORY!

Used with permission: https://pixabay.com/photos/lion-predator-mane-big-cat-yawn-3317670/

Used with permission: https://pixabay.com/photos/lion-predator-mane-big-cat-yawn-3317670/

While our natural eyes may be looking and only seeing defeat, discouragement and despair, I believe it is time for us to take up the authority we have in Jesus, and to come out on the offensive. It is time to storm the enemy’s camp with the surety that we already have the victory. This is not about the physical realm, although it will surely be impacted. It is very much a spiritual act, but it is burning in me that we do it in a physical way, and that way is through very overt worship.

For those in my area, in Melbourne and Victoria, we may be being told we are back in that place of “lockdown” and “shutdown” and the weather may even seem to agree, with promise of a snap freeze and snow down to 400m. However, our hearts and voices cannot be locked down, shutdown or frozen without our say so. I declare

It is time to arise and to release a shout of praise, a shout of victory. Our victorious King Jesus, Yeshua Messiah, has won!

We need to live in accordance with this belief rather than agreeing with all the negative that is swirling around.

This is not about civil disobedience. It is something we can do from wherever we are. For me, it has looked like taking my music and worship flags out into my garden and singing and dancing in praise of God (if we can do this without annoying our neighbours). I have also found myself singing full bore in the car as I have gone about my other responsibilities – the other day I felt compelled to crank up the stereo and my voice and open the sunroof. Do it to whatever capacity you can with the words Holy Spirit gives you. Do it boldly. Do it whether you feel like it or not! The feelings will come as you release the sound.

This is not about whether others may hear or not. It is about changing the spiritual atmosphere. It is about releasing the sound of heaven on earth.

It is about releasing the reverberations of the coming of King and His army of angels. It is the thunderous cheer of the rising Bride, preparing to meet Her Groom.

And as we sing, as we praise, as we make a joyful sound to our Lord, I see strongholds being shaken and falling, roots from the past being loosened and removed, spiritual giants coming tumbling down, the hidden plans of the enemy not just being exposed, but being brought to nothing.

Psalm 24 (NIV) is a great starting point:

“The earth is the Lord’s, and everything in it,
the world, and all who live in it;
for he founded it on the seas
and established it on the waters.

Who may ascend the mountain of the Lord?
Who may stand in his holy place?
The one who has clean hands and a pure heart,
who does not trust in an idol
or swear by a false god.

They will receive blessing from the Lord
and vindication from God their Saviour.
Such is the generation of those who seek him,
who seek your face, God of Jacob.

Lift up your heads, you gates;
be lifted up, you ancient doors,
that the King of glory may come in.
Who is this King of glory?
The Lord strong and mighty,
the Lord mighty in battle.
Lift up your heads, you gates;
lift them up, you ancient doors,
that the King of glory may come in.
Who is he, this King of glory?
The Lord Almighty—
he is the King of glory.”

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You have been granted immunity!

A couple of nights back, I woke up about four times. Each time it was like someone was rousing me, and the word “immunity” was rattling around in my mind.

In the morning, I had a proper conversation with Jesus as to what this was about. Knowing He doesn’t do fear, nothing I had come up with in the night had been landing comfortably. A couple of things then came to mind.

The first was the idea from television game shows where a person is “granted immunity”. The second was a question:

“If you knew you had immunity, what would it be like?”

Immediately I felt His joy and I knew the answer:

FREEDOM!

As I looked further into the understanding of what immunity can mean, three things came to the fore.

In law, to be granted immunity means not being punished.

In health, having immunity means not getting sick.

In the tv shows, being granted immunity means you get to stay in the game.

While many of us would probably like to know we had immunity to a certain virus-that-shall-not-be-named, I don’t think God gave me this word as that sort of promise. I sense that it is actually about having immunity to the WORLD and all the dis-ease that it carries.

So what does this mean for us as followers of Yeshua?

It means those same three things:

We are freed from condemnation and punishment.

We are freed from the sickness of fear, worry, despair and hopelessness.

We get to stay in the game so we can help others to walk in the same way.

This Easter, when so much is different and for many, so much is so difficult, our freedom is so much more important to understand. But it is not freedom as the world sees freedom. It is not about freedom to do as we please or to break out of our “stay at home” regulations. It is freedom in our relationship with God to come before Him, to have true and ever deepening relationship with Him, to experience the depths of His love, His grace, His mercy, His joy, His hope for the future in spite of all we see going on around us.

At Easter, we remember what Jesus won for us on the cross, that through His death and resurrection, we are set free from the effects of the virus of sin and brokenness. No matter what our past, what our struggles, we can find freedom from them as we can now come before the throne of grace and mercy with complete confidence of our acceptance there. The blood of Jesus is more than enough to set us free from all the world would like to throw at us.

So I take this word, “IMMUNITY” and I throw it out to you to claim as your own, as a special Easter gift from King Yeshua.

Feel free to take hold of it, ask God what it will look like for you to live in immunity and pass it on to someone else who needs it! You can’t lose.

Blessings to you and yours this Easter,

Ruth.

“This is why we do not lose courage. Though our outer self is heading for decay, our inner self is being renewed daily. For our light and transient troubles are achieving for us an everlasting glory whose weight is beyond description. We concentrate not on what is seen but on what is not seen, since things seen are temporary, but things not seen are eternal.” 2 Cor 4:16-18 (CJB)

(If you are struggling to experience this freedom, I would like to encourage you this Easter to seek God, to set aside time and ask Him to show you the next step, or even to take away those things that hold you back, that keep you stuck in the fear and despair cycle. And if you are really getting nowhere, please message me. I have some tools that can help, and if needed we can still meet over the internet. Don’t stay stuck – there is so much more coming in the days ahead, so much that God is wanting us to partner with Him in as we see His Kingdom come on this planet. Don’t miss out!)

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"I WANT TO LIFT THE ROOF OFF!"

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Sunday morning a couple of weeks back, I was sitting reflecting on how much I was feeling the need to break out, how much my house seemed to be confining me, like the roof was pressing down on me and I just really wanted to be outside. I had been feeling this way for the last couple of weeks and had put it down to the end of a winter being couped up inside. However, as I was thinking, the words “I want to lift the roof off” came into my mind. I sort of pictured a space where you could have a house with a roof that opened out or something and was thinking it was still a little cold and wet for that when it came again stronger:

“I WANT TO LIFT THE ROOF OFF.”

I had the sense that God was speaking to me, that He had more to say, that there was a spiritual aspect to this and so I started to explore this idea. Straight away, I saw two aspects to this.

The first aspect was in relation to those of us who have felt hidden away; for those who have felt that this season of isolation and hiddenness, of doors not opening and things not proceeding will never end; for those who have felt like the “glass ceiling” is holding them back: There is a sense that God is about to LIFT THE ROOF OFF and release each person into so much more than we could ever imagine.

I had a picture of something like one of those clown tricks, where they take a stick and flick it out and it turns in a bunch of flowers. It was like this but that was a really poor imitation of what God is going to do. What I saw was people bursting forth as if out of nowhere and unlike the trick, or an explosion, where once the energy is spent from the spring or device behind it, that is the end, this would not go back in, and it WOULD NOT STOP. The energy in this bursting forth, or explosion will continue to expand exponentially and would be contagious. These people bursting forth in the picture do so with exceedingly great joy and are filled with praise and worship. They carry the Kingdom of God with them and it is CONTAGIOUS, so spreads like a virus (but in a good way!). Like a jack-in-the-box, as the roof is lifted off, there will be a springing forth!

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The second aspect of the roof being lifted off is to do with God and our view of Him. What I felt Him say is:

it is time to let Him out of the box or containment that we have had Him in.

Whether it is out of fear of losing control, or fear of the unknown or fear because of past hurts and disappointments, God wants us to let Him out, to allow Him to lift the roof off our expectations and experiences of what it means to be His children, to be His body, to be His bride, His friends; to raise us up to a whole other level, way outside of what we have experienced before.

It is time to stop thinking small and controlled, comfortable and safe and hidden away and time to let the roof be lifted off to be open to His breath of fresh air, the new things He wants to do in us and through us.

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For some time I have been feeling so strongly that it is time for us to stop just holding the ground we have, to stop just playing a “defensive” game of “if we just hold on to the final siren, that’s all we need to do and that is all we can expect” to actually being on the offense. That doesn’t mean we get to be offensive (in a bad way) - although we surely will be offensive to some, just as Jesus was – but it means we change our game plan. We go out and be the Kingdom, day by day, hour by hour. We have to be willing to lift the roof off all our self-protection and self-serving, to be willing to be open to the elements and trust God to be our protection.

It is in and from this place that God will show Himself able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine.

If you are willing to brave all that it means to have the roof lifted off, join me in this prayer:

Holy Spirit of God, we invite You to come into our homes, into our lives, into our church in Your great power to lift the roof off all that holds us back, all that keeps us boxed in, and all the ways in which we have kept You boxed in. Help us to let go of all our past fears, hurts and disappointments, so we can step with You into all You have for us. Blow afresh over our lives, releasing us into the new level of freedom You desire us to walk in, for the glory of Your Kingdom and You.

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Ruth Embery Ruth Embery

Quit trying to be good enough: It’s never going to work.

At a time when many of us have already realised how unrealistic our New Year’s resolutions were and probably broken most of them, I find myself reflecting again on the standards we set ourselves, so often based on comparing ourselves with others or our perception of where we should be. And I have found God taking me to a deeper level of dealing with this in my own life. Typically, though, I find it has its roots in my early life.

Way back when I was in high school, my subject reports consisted of just two characters: a letter grade and an effort score. (Effort of 1 meaning you couldn’t have tried harder, to 3 being minimal to no effort.) While my parents didn’t say much - positive or negative - about the grade, they did have questions on anything less than a “1” for effort. The idea that the grade doesn’t matter as long as you tried your best seems to have much merit, but the problem is, how do I measure “my best”? What are the indicators that I have done just that?

Fast forward into adulthood, and I wonder how many of us don’t continue to struggle with (at least at some level) the idea “if I just work harder, am more consistent with my effort, keep pushing through, I will be able to perform. I will make it.” (Whatever “it” is).

The truth is, that we live in a world that IS driven largely by performance and outcomes, and the idea that any one can achieve whatever goals they like if they just put in the effort. Even in Christian circles, we honour and extol those who, by their hard work, intelligence, diligence or ingenuity excel and produce “amazing outcomes'“, either in their own “personal bests”, in business or in some other way rise to the top of the heap in their field. We buy into the lie that if we just put in more effort, if we try harder, we too can arrive.

But what are the measures we are using and are they correct?

When life is not heading in the direction I would like quickly enough, I seem to find myself back on this merry-go-round again. Inasmuch as God has taken me on a journey of breaking free from the performance trap, from the just work harder, focus more, set more achievable goals, have more accountability cycle, it is still easy to measure myself by my lack of achievement compared to others, whether this is real or perceived. When God was speaking to me about this at an earlier time, I was in the supermarket and the register went mad, printing out something like a metre of docket, all with the word “approved” printed over and over. The checkout lady was very surprised, “I don’t know what that’s about, but at least you know you are approved!” Ok, ok, I get the message - please don’t embarrass me any further, Dad!

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Coming up to Christmas, I was determined to work hard to enjoy the season more than previous years. However, despite my best efforts, I found myself almost feeling ‘kicked off’ that merry-go-round. There was a sense of watching so many I know riding the crazy carousel of all the Christmas activities, while we stood by, feeling on one hand quite disconnected, while at the same time not wanting to be part of it - this madness that is perhaps more akin to a hurricane or tornado than a carnival ride.

Perhaps this is a little cynical, but from the sidelines, this was how I was feeling. And while there was an almost perverse desire to get on board and be part of it, at the same time, I felt incapable. Tied up in the middle of this was the feeling of isolation or even alienation. I wondered again if I was actually the problem.

In the middle of it all, I found myself wondering where God was and feeling disconnected from Him as well.

What if it is me?

What if it is my lack of effort that leaves me feeling distant.

And then I realised that I had painted Him in the colours I was viewing the world through: Perform, do what’s expected, keep marching, keep working hard for all the hours you are given. I realised that I didn’t feel like I was up to scratch with Him, either. Not good enough, not doing enough.

So I had to step back. Step back into remembering that His love isn’t conditional. His love for me isn’t based on what I do or don’t do or participate in, or even on anyone else’s approval or expectations. I can REST in His love whenever I want, without waiting for or even asking for anyone else’s approval.

One of the main things I felt God prompting me about in the last six months or so is to really check myself with the comparison game. This has been in quite a different context to the past. It is about checking my drive to be part of what others are doing that, for them, is very much in line with what God is doing and is calling them to do. What He has been showing me is that I am me, not them, even if we do have similar drives, gifts and callings.

He has been prompting me to not just get on board because it is a God-thing, but to ask whether it is mine to engage with. He has been saying to me, “Yes, it is good, yes, it is about Me and what I am doing My Kingdom, but I have something else over here that I want you to do. You are separate. You are different, but that is good, that is how I created you and what I created you for. Don’t try to be someone else, and you don’t have to get involved in everything I am doing, only what I ask you to.”

It fits in well with the verses where Jesus said that He “only did what He saw the Father doing” and “only said what He heard the Father saying”, which has become a little of my mantra over the last months. Jesus could have quite easily burnt Himself out with all the need around Him. It was vitally important that He was in close relationship with His Father in order to keep on track as well as deal with the demand and even the rejection. He had to know who He was, His purpose, and what His Father was about. He took regular time out to refresh and to listen.

The same is true for us.

We must be cautious about drivers like “God is up to amazing things” or “can’t wait to be part of this”, or even “you don’t want to miss this!” While it is great to be part of it all, if these things detract or distract from what God really wants us to do, we run the risk of missing what He has for us.

I’m not saying that we shouldn’t work hard, make commitments or set goals, join in. Quite the opposite. However, we do need to be careful of why we do this, why we push ourselves.

We must carefully assess the motivations of our hearts.

  • Is it about being a “better Christian” or being more Christ-like?

  • Is it about performing for those in our circles (be they church, family, friends or colleagues) or about the fruit of the Spirit at work in and through us?

  • Are we following the trend, the herd, or the Spirit? (And sometimes that is hard to discern!)

The challenge for this year: STOP. WAIT. ASK. Check your spirit. Is it FOMO (Fear Of Missing Out), or are you released/called to be part of it?

Oh yeah, and don’t bother working so hard to meet everyone else’s approval and expectations (or your perceptions of these!). It doesn’t work, you won’t ever live up to all the expectations out there, and besides, you already have the approval of your Heavenly Father. What more could you need?

 

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Are you above the law?

For some years now, I have been asking the question of which is more helpful: the transformation of societal structures and laws or the transformation of hearts.

While some I have talked to have immediately stated that it is not an either/or question, I do believe that there is an element where the transformation of hearts must take precedence over our laws and structures. This is not to say that laws are not important. In terms of protecting the weakest and most vulnerable in our society, they are vitally important. However, without transformed hearts, we will always look for ways around laws that are inconvenient to us and as a society, we will always be fighting a losing battle against others who want to do the same.
This brings me to current issues in many Western nations. One of our greatest battlegrounds at this time would appear to be around the issues of changing a variety of laws in the name of progression.

As I have watched the debates rage on social media and the like, I have wondered what part I should play.

Do I lend my ‘great wisdom’? Do I proudly state my stance? Do I stay in the background, keeping myself safe from the melee? 

Discussing this with a friend, she shared a picture God had given her just that morning, which she has given me permission to share further. (Interestingly, as I shared this picture with a third friend, she told me that another friend of hers had been given the same picture!).

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The question my friend asked God was what her role should be in these discussions. The picture He gave her was of the Titanic. There were three groups of Christians in this picture. There were those who were down in the hold trying (ineffectively) to plug up the holes in the hull. Then there were others up on the deck enjoying the music and ignoring the fact that the ship was about to sink. And the third group was busy helping people to get into the life boats.

Even as my friend shared this picture with me, in my own version, I saw another huge ship pull alongside. It was immensely bigger and had everything that anyone could ever want or need and was perfect. It seemed to glow (no words to describe it), but I knew this ship was God’s ship. It is His promise that there is space aboard His ship for all who want to join it, that His ship is truly unsinkable – we need have no fear in the face of our current ‘ship’ sinking.

Just as people believed about the Titanic, there are those who believe that Western society’s structure is great and the best form it can be, that it is ‘unsinkable’. I think this is a false view. While we can be quite scathing about the Titanic and the arrogance of people who think they have got it all worked out, I do believe that we can have the same attitude towards ‘the way the world works’. We can think that we can work it all out and make it ‘fair’ and ‘happy’ for everyone – well, at least the ‘everyone’ who matters to us.

The problem as I see it is that much of the foundations our society has been built on are shaky or unstable. While some of them might seem good, or even appear to come from Godly principles, without the right hearts behind them, many laws and societal mores can simply become (or feel like) a big stick with which to beat people with.

Although Jesus came as the fulfilment of the Law and to make it perfect, there is an aspect in which this can simply take us back to being like the Pharisees (lawyers) of Jesus’ day, making rules and regulations as the benchmark of who is in and who is out.

Jesus was completely against this and had many harsh words to say to those who tied heavy burdens to those who could least deal with them. (Matt 23:1-12). We must be very sure of our own motives – are we trying to prove ourselves more righteous and knowledgeable than someone else at some level? Are we trying to force them to live up to standards that we ourselves don’t keep? Especially when they don’t even believe the same as we do.

My reading of Jesus’ “Sermon on the Mount”, particularly the passage from Matthew 5:17-48, is that Jesus is pointing out how difficult it is to be righteous. Who has never wanted (at least at some level) to kill someone else (or that someone else would do it for you), or never looked at someone and thought they were more than a bit ok. And then Jesus goes on to lift the level on the things we should do as well. I don’t believe we can truly do many of these consistently without His help and grace.

Adding to this are Paul’s writings reminding us that we have all sinned and fallen short of God’s glory (Romans 3:23-). He continues on to suggest that rather than helping us to be good, the Law actually shows us how much we fail. It shows that we don’t have it in us to do that which is right. In a nutshell,

laws don’t really help us become better people – they are really just mirrors to show us our failings.

So what is the answer?

There are two things that come to mind. 

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The first is Galatians 5:22-23: (you might want to (re)read what comes before this, too)
“But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, forbearance, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control. Against such things there is no law."

The lead up to this passage is all about freedom. Rather than freedom to do what we want, though, it is freedom from the need to indulge ourselves or “self-comfort”. When we are free in Christ, we are free from the screams of our bodies, emotions and minds to make us feel good (as well as those of others). However, we have to submit these things to God, which brings me to the second thought.

Why do we struggle so much to bring these desires to God?

In my own experience and the experience of numbers of friends, what is often termed our “sin nature” is largely an outworking of the places within us that are impacted by brokenness and damage we have sustained, either from what has been done to us, or (just as often) what we have perceived about what has been done.

There are numbers of ways this manifests in our lives. It can have its foundations in fear and self-protection and these may be expressed through irrational anger or withdrawal, or a combination of both. It may be through acting out sexually or through food, drugs, bad moods, manipulation and control as we try to get our needs met in inappropriate ways.

We can try hard to change these behaviours and at times may succeed, at least to a degree. However, if we never deal with the wounds beneath the behaviours, we are at best managing them. In my own experience, I have had significant healing in a number of areas which means many of those behaviours don’t need to be managed anymore. They have gone completely.
I think we get stuck in the space of law because of our tendency to like what we are able to measure. It makes us feel safe to know what is acceptable and what is not.

We are not too dissimilar to the Israelites. They liked the comfort of knowing exactly how to behave so much they added another 603 laws to the 10 original ones God gave them, just to make sure they were doing the right thing. In our hunger to have it nailed down, rather than sharing our relationship with God with others, we have turned the Good News into a behaviour code.

This is something I have struggled with most of my Christian life. I came across a statement from Daniel Kolenda a number of years back that put it into words perfectly for me. He said that far too often we give people an explanation (the ‘Gospel message’) with no experience, rather than giving them an experience that requires an explanation

Perhaps it is because we have only given intellectual consent to the idea of the Gospel without experiencing its power ourselves that we cannot share it with others. If (when) we have experienced the transforming power of the love of God personally, we cannot help but share it. And when we come from this position, we are far less likely to make others live up to a series of rules to be right with God. Rather than trying to be good enough to come to God, we can allow His loving kindness to lead others to repentance and allow the Holy Spirit to be the One to convict. We can let go of our need to judge others.

The end point is that we have a choice to make. We can rely on laws to make us feel safe, either in our beliefs or in other ways, or we can rely on God. If we decide to trust in laws, even those from the Bible, to give us our sense of safety and security, either in this life or the next, unfortunately we will be let down. As Paul says in Romans 8, it is not the Law of sin and death that can bring us life and make us righteous, but the Law of the Spirit (which is the Law of Love), that gives life to all. And above such things, there is no Law! Each of us, then, has the choice to live above the law. 

In the end, we make a choice – we choose to live under the law (whatever that looks like and all it entails), which brings us death or we can choose to live above the law, not only living the true abundant, free life ourselves, but bringing true life and freedom to others. Are you willing to put the law to death in your life?

 “You, my brothers and sisters, were called to be free. But do not use your freedom to indulge the flesh; rather, serve one another humbly in love. For the entire law is fulfilled in keeping this one command: “Love your neighbour as yourself.” If you bite and devour each other, watch out or you will be destroyed by each other.” (Galatians 5:13-15)
 

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The Deafening Roar of Silence

I am an extrovert. Take away human contact for too long and I quickly cease to function well. My energy and creativity drop and the most mundane tasks become difficult. 

However, in more recent years I have also come to value time alone; time with peace and quiet. 

Fortunately, I live somewhere I get plenty of that, even though noise and people are never far away. But there are those times when I just love to decrease the sensory input. At those times, even music can be an intrusion.

Of course, not everyone is like this. I know many who rarely enjoy a really quiet environment. There are those who, to my amazement, love to have the tv or radio running in the background from morning to night. The idea of not having noise is isolating at best, for them.

For me, though, heading up to the mountains this week for a day of cross-country skiing was one of those welcome time outs. As we left the resort and headed up the trail, all noise of people, vehicles and generators drifted away behind us. Although there were the occasional other skiers, they quickly disappeared and we were on our own again. Eventually, we became aware that the only sound apart from ourselves was the thump and crash of ice and snow falling off the trees.

At one point, we stopped for a snack and a bit of a rest and just listened to the silence. Complete and utter silence. Not even the sound of birds. You don't realise how noisy life is until you are in a space where there is absolute silence. It was beautiful. I longed to just stay there, and if it weren't for the cold and the need to ski back to the car park, I could have quite easily set up camp and remained indefinitely.

As we stood and quietened even our breathing, listening to the sound of silence, the sound of nothing, I became aware of noise that wasn't noise. The words that came to mind were 'the thunder and roar of God'. I am not sure how to really describe it, whether it was just the awareness of His majesty in the beauty of His creation, or the fact that as all other distractions were stripped away, His sovereignty was somehow obvious - we were in the presence of royalty. It was like the majestic music from a movie, or even the reverberating sound check in the cinema. And yet, physically it was silent. It was one of those moments where I would have liked to build a little memorial, like the piles of rocks the Israelites left at places of encounter with God. Like a sign, "God was here".

We had been discussing the whole creation idea earlier in the day, what it was like for God to create from nothing, to dream up the ideas, the seeds of what it would all look like. My husband shared the thought that creation was an expression of God, it is a reflection of who He is, but more than that, He is within and through it. He permeates creation. He is the life blood that pulsates through it all. Perhaps this was part of the thunder and roar. Hearing His heartbeat in His creation. 

Sometimes we can hate the silence because of what we cannot silence - the voices of despair, of pain, of loneliness, of hunger, of anger or bitterness that scream out at us if we don't have enough other distractions. We can fill up our lives with other stuff so we don't have to deal with that which is too hard. Perhaps we don't even realise we are doing it, until silence comes crashing in on us. And for some, silence is to be feared, because we don't want to face that which dwells within. 

And yet, I want to promise, to give a commitment that what we fear, what we dislike so much can be exactly what we need. Like Elijah hiding in the cave (see 1 Kings 19:11-14), in pain and despair, longing for God to speak, make it all right - first there was mighty, loud wind; then an earthquake, then fire, before the gentleness and stillness of God came upon him. He wanted God to act strongly, to be loud and present and forceful, and yet God came in silence, in stillness, because this is what Elijah actually needed.

So it is with us. While we want to keep running from the 'demons' that chase us down, that haunt us, we stay exhausted; we are never free, never rested. We remain trapped in the lie that these things have power over us; that living in fear is the only safe way to live. It is only as we stop and wait on God, that His stillness, peace and gentleness can start to infiltrate us with His answers, His rest for us, and His freedom. It is in this place that we start to find what really defines us - is it Him or the world, Him or our circumstances? It is only when we cease striving to deafen the silence, we discover the space to find the One who truly defines us.

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Bondage: What's your style?

When was the last time you engaged with a little bondage?

Personally, I really value my freedom. I live in a culture that would appear to value freedom, particularly the freedom of the individual, above almost everything else. The freedom to carry a gun, the freedom to marry whom I choose and freedom of speech are just a few that pop easily to mind. And watch the public outcry if a ‘civil liberty’ is even perceived as being curtailed.

How is it then, with all our appetite for freedom, that we can find ourselves in bondage?

As I engaged in my own little bondage routine at the gym recently, (not to the treadmill, but those other pesky machines), I became aware of Taylor Swift’s song “Mean” playing in the background:

“You have pointed out my flaws again.
As if I don't already see them. 
I walk with my head down, 
Trying to block you out, ‘cause I'll never impress you…
Someday, I'll be, living in a big ol' city, 
And all you're ever gonna be is mean…”

The lament conveyed here is not new to many of us, and is possibly why the song is so popular. The cry for vindication, for justice and for freedom from the opinions (real or perceived) of others is one that many of us can relate to. 

“One day I am going to show you just how wrong you were about me!”

Unfortunately, though, instead of being set free by “showing” others their error we are actually held in bondage by this desire for exoneration. If my goal is to prove anything to anyone else, I will always be bound by my need for validation from them.

And so, in all our desire for freedom, we can actually live in so many bondages. Bondage to the opinions, desires and expectations of others; bondage to acquiring the next gadget, refurb, experience, holiday; bondage to creating or maintaining an image that we believe will make us acceptable to or belong with others; bondage to the ladder of success in our career and relationships.

In my experience, the desire for acceptance manifested itself in me as an extreme difficulty in saying ‘no’ to others. Even when I didn’t want to say yes, I would find myself agreeing to something and then feeling trapped. I had constant battles with rehashing conversations and situations, beating myself up for a variety of failings I perceived in myself.

However, this is only one illustration of a variety of bondages I found myself in trying to get my needs for value, acceptance and belonging met. I also tied myself in knots trying NOT to need value, acceptance and belonging from anyone. I lived in a vicious cycle of trying to maintain feeling good about myself and failing dismally.

 So what does true freedom look like? And how do we live in it?

As long as we look to others, to material goods or to achievement to meet our deeper needs of acceptance, value or belonging we will continue to live in the cycle of unmet need. Although some of these work for short periods, like the proverbial addict, we keep coming back for the next and bigger fix.

While it is true that just like food, there are areas of our lives where we do need fairly consistent input, what we put in has a great impact on the output. When we use things that were never meant to bring fulfilment or value to our lives, it is like only ever eating junk food. We are left feeling empty and dissatisfied.

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