Do your windows need cleaning?

Lying in bed recently one morning with the winter sunshine streaming in, I was talking with God about how to manage my emotions in this time. I was struggling to deal with the despair, anxiety, fear and hopelessness swirling around the atmosphere.

However, even as I looked out the window, instead of brilliant blue sky, the filthy state of our windows grabbed my attention. In fact, the angle of the sun was showing it up so clearly that the window was almost opaque. Dust, dirt and cobwebs inhibited my view almost completely.

Even as I became aware of what I was seeing, the words “bad reports” came to mind. I felt Yeshua gently say to me, “if you spend too much time listening to and reading the bad reports, they become your focus and that is all you will see”.

A very telling incident involving “bad reports” occurred with the nation of Israel as they first went to enter the Promised Land. They sent out twelve spies (one for each tribe) to check out the land. Ten came back with fearful reports that although the land was wonderful, the people were giants and the Israelites would never be able to conquer them. Because the Israelites listened to those bad reports and came into agreement with them, most of them never got to the Promised Land and they ended up another forty years in the wilderness.

There is an aspect in this scenario where the people actually prophesied something different over themselves than God had planned for them. Although God’s plan for His people did not change, and the long term result was the same, many people missed out on what He was doing because they took hold of the wrong story, the wrong picture. They focussed on the dirt and this became their truth. Even when they changed their mind and tried to enter the land by force, they ended up failing and getting smashed by the enemy because of what they had agreed with that wasn’t in line with what God had said. They had not trusted Him.

For some time, I have been concerned about much of what we discuss and share both in person and online. On one hand, the understanding is that it is important to let people know what is “really going on”, what is behind everything we are seeing. However, even if there is truth in this information, I can’t help but wonder if we are not playing a similar part to those ten spies who were fearful. Their focus was on their own ability to deal with what they saw rather than trusting in who God wanted to be for them. Our words have creative power. God spoke things that were not into being. He made us in His image. We all know the impact of certain words on our own being, for good or bad. Much of what gets airplay in this season is very much around good and bad, what is evil and what is right. Unfortunately, this material generally comes from the tree of the knowledge of good and evil, and will therefore ultimately lead to death. Instead, how much better would it be for us make sure our words lead to life, point people to Jesus, and that our words are God’s words.

Returning to my windows, this is the prayer God gave me that morning, which had an immediate effect for me. However, if you do choose to pray it, you may need to also change your focus from the dirt to the Light of the Son. If you keep feeding on the bad reports, your windows will quickly get dirty again.

Father God, I am sorry I have focussed more on the bad reports than on You. Would you please come and clean the windows of my heart, my soul and my mind so I can see Your Light clearly again? Help me to focus on You, to listen to You and to ask You what You want me to do with every report before I even listen to or read them. In Yeshua’s name.

Backing music by David Lastra, “Selah”, https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ivEUZ4TpBG4

Do you have enough faith to get you through this?

I think the first time I felt disappointed with God was when I was about 5 years old. My mother was pregnant with my youngest sibling and given I already had three brothers, I was desperately praying that this one would be a girl, a sister for me. And he wasn’t.

I am sure I am not alone in having experienced this sort of disappointment:

“God, You have the power to do what I want, what I believe I really need – and yet You don’t. What is the story? Why not?”

If God loves us, why doesn’t He always answer our prayers the way we would like?

My most recent ponderings on this topic started from a totally different scenario though, so join me on the journey!

A little while back, I quite suddenly became very conscious of the rows of trees lining the path (as in the photos) at the old golf course where I walk our dog. As they caught my attention the words, “Since we are surrounded by such a great cloud of witnesses…” dropped into my mind. I had such a sense of not just those witnesses listed in Hebrews 11, but my own physical ancestors lining the way, as though I was in a marathon, and they were watching, cheering me on, encouraging me to keep going.

Weeks later I had a dream about running in the wilderness. I was trying to escape and evade “baddies”. With me was a companion, who was alongside me all the way as I ran as fast as I could. Even as I realised we had got away, I also realised my companion was on a horse. As I woke up, it was with the thought that it would have been much easier to get away if I had just got on the back of his horse (not to mention the question of why I hadn’t noticed it earlier!). Another aspect of the dream was that my companion was not at all worried, flustered or breathless from running. He was just with me.

The meaning of this dream was quite obvious to me. My constant companion is Jesus. With Him, I don’t have to work hard to stay safe. The question of why I didn’t notice the horse, or get on it bothered me though. I asked God the question of what I should do differently to not be living out of my own strength. Immediately the words, “fix[ing] our eyes on Jesus, the author and perfecter of our faith” popped into my mind.

Looking this verse up, surprise, surprise, it was the second half of the instructions regarding the cloud of witnesses:

“Therefore, since we are surrounded by such a great cloud of witnesses, let us throw off everything that hinders and the sin that so easily entangles. And let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us, fixing our eyes on Jesus, the pioneer and perfecter of faith.” (Heb 12:1-2)

In my dream, I was focussed on escape, not on Jesus!

Years ago, I was taught “whenever you see a wherefore or therefore, ask what its there for”, so I thought I’d better re-read Hebrews 11. Toward the end of the familiar passage is the list of gruesome, almost “Monty Python-esque” torture people had undergone for the sake of a promise: “Some faced jeers and flogging, and even chains and imprisonment. They were put to death by stoning; they were sawed in two; they were killed by the sword. They went about in sheepskins and goatskins, destitute, persecuted and mistreated… yet none of them received what had been promised” (Heb 11:36, 37, 39).

When we come back to chapter 12, then, this cloud of witnesses are those who have struggled, who have suffered, many for a promise they never saw fulfilled. And we are told that it is on the back of the faith of these witnesses that we are to continue running with perseverance, that we are to throw off everything that holds us back.

Somehow, even though we read so much evidence to the contrary in the Bible - even the early apostles and disciples who walked with Jesus and were eyewitnesses to His death and resurrection, suffered difficulties and pain, to the point of being stoned, beheaded, imprisoned, shipwrecked and hungry – we still have some vague (or otherwise) belief that our lives should be trouble free and filled with every good thing. Why do we think that because we live some 2000 years later that we should have lives that are so much easier with no suffering and problems?

Coming back to where I started, along the journey I have begun to realise that our idea of what is good, what is helpful and what are blessings might just be very different to what God’s idea of these are for us. While we so often look for His help and blessings to be along the lines of no troubles and many goods to make our lives more enjoyable and easy, perhaps God’s purpose for our lives here on earth is divergent to that picture. If I were to ask most, they would agree that our purpose in God is to become more like Jesus – that is our goal. Funnily enough (or perhaps not!), Jesus’ focus was far from on His own comfort and freedom from trouble.

A great quote from Smith Wigglesworth I saw recently has stuck with me. He said:

“I don’t ever ask Smith Wigglesworth how he feels!” I jump out of bed! I dance before the Lord for at least 10 to 12 minutes – high speed dancing. I jump up and down and run around my room telling God how great He is, how wonderful He is, how glad I am to be associated with Him and to be His child.”

This has confronted me greatly. So often, my focus is on how I feel about everything, from physically to emotionally and even spiritually. Returning again to my starting point, it has been easy to wonder what God was thinking giving me four brothers. However, as I have grown, I have come to realise that every part of my life has influenced and changed me. I have a choice about whether I embrace those things I would have liked to be different or continue to fight God about them. I can work with Him through them to become more like Him, or get angry, disillusioned and create distance between us. While I may not always see the benefits of the path He has me on, I do have the choice to trust Him that there are benefits!

Coming back to Hebrews 12, I am reminded that through all of our circumstances, our focus is to be on Jesus alone. Sometimes, though, in the middle of these circumstances, we can find it difficult to find the faith to even look in His general direction. As we read in verse 2, however, we can see we actually don’t even have to find that faith! It is Jesus who gives us faith – He is the author: the One who initiates, creates, gives the spark to our faith; and He is the One who perfects our faith: brings it to completion and fullness. All we have to do is respond and take the next single step He lays before us. And meanwhile, we are cheered on from the sidelines by those who have gone before!