It's not the issue you think!

Late last year, I had one of those moments when I suddenly saw something it was then impossible to “unsee”. While you’ll be relieved to know it wasn’t something visually untoward, it was an insight that completely changed my perspective and understanding. The obvious nature of it left me feeling both a little gobsmacked that I hadn’t seen it earlier, but also thinking it must be obvious to everyone and I was the last to see it. I still think it is pretty obvious, but perhaps people put it into the too hard basket, or for other reasons don’t want to engage.

My moment was around what I see as the major issue of our times. It has probably always been a major player, but in this season of great polarisation, it must become front and centre for all, no matter which side of the great divide you live on.

While so many are engaging with issues of masks, vaccines, virus, globalisation, climate change, radical laws, or whatever other polarising issue you’d like to pick, I suddenly realised that our enemy’s actual plan is to create as much division and strife as possible in our communities, societies and culture, and many of us are jumping on board and doing all the heavy lifting. It has happened far too quickly and easily.

As I have reflected on what God has been saying and showing me around this, I found myself confronted again and again with the numbers 222. I woke up at 2:22am, I looked at the clock later in the day: 2:22pm. 222 on the odometer, and then it was the turn of 111, even to the improbably cheap price of fuel: $1.11!

In the last few years, I have become more aware of the way numbers, letters and even pictures are all wrapped up in each character of the Hebrew alphabet. Each letter contains a wealth of information, not immediately obvious to those of us only familiar with the Roman (English) alphabet and how it works. There are no separate symbols for numerals – they simply use the letters to double up as numbers. So, seeing all these 2’s and 1’s, I went to one of my sources looking at the meanings associated with the letters that represent these numbers.

It was here I had another revelation. Both 1 and 2 are to do with unity. In my research there are some interesting links between 1 and 2. It is quite obvious that 1 is about unity - the concept of being in “oneness”. The number 111 is further reflective of the unity of the trinity. However, when I read through some information about 2, the information went back to the Garden of Eden. Here, we find that God took the “one” man, and through the division of taking a rib from his side, created a second person. Through the process of division, one became two. (Beautifully, in the creation of every new human being now, we see another take on this process: first two cells come together to become one, and then, through division and multiplication, they form one new being!)

In this place of differentiation, however, the risk of disunity came into being. There were now two who had the opportunity to have different opinions, to allow offence and hurt and all other types of dissension or discord. In the middle of all this possibility for division and break down, God also illustrated the way to a bond of unity through the marriage relationship – a precursor if you will, of the pathway to unity Jesus would bring. At the end of Genesis 2, we are told in verse 24 (CJB) “…a man…will stick with his wife and they are to be one flesh”.

I found this astounding. First God divided, then He brings back unity, a unity ultimately made possible through the death and resurrection of Jesus. One became two, given the choice to become one again, the choice to be in unity or to separate.

Even more beautifully, the picture of physical unity in marriage overlays onto the Church, the Body of Christ, His Bride! Alongside my ruminations of unity, the journey has included the concept of “unveiling”. One of my favourite passages of Scripture is from 2 Cor 3:18, where Paul reflects on the difference between Moses, who hid the fading glory of his encounters with God behind a veil, and our calling to have our faces unveiled, as God transforms us into His image, reflecting His glory to the world.

During a prayer time, I had a really overwhelmingly lovely picture of us as Jesus’ Bride. It was at the point in the wedding service where the groom lifts the veil and kisses the Bride. There were so many layers to this. The kiss is about sealing His commitment to us, His people. It’s about a covenant with Him, and it is about the fact that He already laid down His life for us. Then, as He lifts the veil, everyone (the whole world) gets to see the beauty and glory of the Bride. As a female, this is an easy vision to sit with. I suspect it may be a little more challenging for men. The question in the midst of the vision is whether we are willing to allow Him to truly husband us – to be our Protector, our Guide. Are we willing to submit all our desires to Him? And even more challenging, is the Bride, the Church, ready to be revealed, and in turn, to reveal God’s glory to the world? If we sit in the mess of disunity, perhaps not so much!

The starting point to having unity with each other is first to walk in unity with God. John 17:20-26 has been another scripture I have been sitting with for a number of years. As one of the longest recorded prayers of Jesus, it is obviously important. It is where Jesus prays for the unity of all believers; that our unity would be like the unity between Father God and Jesus – that we would be inseparable. I think it is one of the key areas the enemy likes to attack us in: divide and conquer!

The antidote to our disunity is all wrapped up in the two commandments Jesus gave us. Love God and love each other as ourselves.

Hmmm, how good are we at loving ourselves? 1 John (chapter 4 particularly), gives us a very clear insight into the Source of love. We must first receive God’s love, allow His love to impact and transform us, to lift us up, which requires us to see our own value and identity through His eyes, before we will be able to adequately love others. We must stop getting our identity, value and love primarily through the imperfect reflections we get from others. It must come from our ever deepening relationship with God.

Unity is all wrapped up in love.

We don’t have a hope in any relationship, in being the Church, or in impacting the world around us with the Kingdom of God until we can love unconditionally – not just when we’ve been “good”; not just when we agree with each other; not just when we have the same views about the “important” issues, but when we are (again!), willing to lay down our need to be “right” to preserve relationship. We can’t do it without God’s help though.

As a third wheel to all this, my word for this year is peace. I rejected it the first time round, and when it came up again, I groaned. I saw it as the cousin of patience: you only get it by experiencing the opposite!

However, as I took time to reflect on it and ask God about it, the Hebrew word “shalom” came to mind, so I went on a deep dive into its meaning. Some of the associated implications are: wholeness; integrity; harmony; completeness; unbrokenness; full; undividedness. Further, the post on Abarim Publications suggests that “peace-making” is about “Achieving such a level of understanding of irreconcilable elements that these can be understood and joined in…” Such promise! So much joy contained in these ideas!

Unity!

We can’t have unity without shalom-peace and unconditional love.

I suspect most of us have a significant journey of experience before we come anywhere near to doing unity well. I know I do. I know how much of a journey it has been to come to any place of unity and unconditional love within myself and I don’t claim to be at the end of that one. However, I do know that it is not something God expects us to do alone, to do in our own strength. He has given us His Holy Spirit for precisely that purpose – to help and guide us through, to show us the way to love well and to live in unity. All we need to do is decide whether we partner with Holy Spirit, or with the enemy of our souls. Every moment of every day is a new opportunity to choose!

(These photos were taken on our walk on Valentine’s Day in lockdown - someone had placed them at various places along the path. Such a lovely treasure hunt!)

The roadmap to freedom in the middle of lockdown.

Getting the news a week or so back that we would continue in intense lockdown for at least another two weeks sent me into something of a tailspin. Perhaps, like many, I’d been holding on to the belief that we would be able to at least lift some of the restrictions. But no. The hopelessness, powerlessness and despair I was feeling about our circumstances was threatening to overwhelm me.

Seeking the Lord for a way out of this emotional space, one that I could engage with, I found Him challenging me anew from an unexpected direction.

The answer was in forgiveness.

Forgiving someone I have no relationship with, no personal ability to impact (at least humanly speaking) but who had a great deal of power over me and my life was a whole new level for me, but I knew it was the answer for my true freedom. And even as I was struggling with this challenge and my lack of desire to forgive, I had a vision.

Jesus, face filled with joy and perhaps some amusement, pointed to something I was clutching in my hand, holding tight to myself. It was like He was giving me a playful poke: “what’s that you’re holding?” Looking at what He was showing me, I saw a black sticky ball of muck. Straight away, I knew what it was. Bitterness. Anger. Resentment. Frustration. The question was obvious. “Do you want to hold on to all that muck?”

No!

I am well aware that forgiveness is often not easy. However,

If we refuse to release our anger, our bitterness, our hatred, our resentment, I would suggest forgiveness is impossible.

In fact, the picture I had would suggest lots of things are pretty difficult to do when we are clutching a bundle of blackness to ourselves, not to mention the way it contaminates everything we touch.

As I observe many interactions on social media filled with vitriol, anger, belittling and other negative output toward people who have different opinions on either side of what has become the “great divide” of beliefs about pretty much everything these days, I see that

forgiveness is vital to the way ahead.

But it is not easy.

In my own involvement in a reasonably low-level disagreement, I realised the exceptional power of the drive to justify and defend ourselves. To step back and not respond, and especially to choose not to escalate, is tough, especially when others respond with emotive and irrational accusations.

In my own reflections about how to forgive someone I believe to be in the wrong, I heard Jesus’ words echo down through the ages:

“Father, forgive them for they know not what they do”.

Jesus underwent arguably the most unjustified conviction, punishment and painful death, and yet, in the midst of it, He could forgive the perpetrators. How?

Lately, I have found myself reflecting on the idea of Creator God being the Righteous Judge. Too often, it seems we use this to claim His favour toward us, that He will back “me”, because I am in the right. We take our own beliefs, (generally well justified, even if only by ourselves and our support crew), about who or what is good or evil, right or wrong, and overlay them on “God the Judge” to prove that “I am right and you are wrong”.

A major problem with this is that I don’t see the line between good and evil are so much of God’s focus. I think the view He takes in His judgement, the main trajectory of His desire, is much more regarding whether our actions and beliefs lead to life, or lead us to death.

It reminds me of the situation of Joshua at Jericho (Joshua 5:13), where Joshua encounters the angel of the Lord and asks whose side the angel is on. The angel’s response: “No”. In other words, he was not on one side or the other. An article I read recently as I was looking deeper into the concept of “Yahweh Sabaoth” as the Lord of Hosts, suggested similarly to this:

God is not about being on my side or your side, but about fulfilling His plans.

Perhaps it is we who are either on His side or not and perhaps it is time we took ourselves off centre stage and put Him back on! (But that is for another discussion…)

Coming back to forgiveness, I am realising our difficulty with forgiving lies in our judgement. “But Lord, they are wrong and I have been wronged! I won’t let them get away with it! Can’t I at least justify myself, prove to them that I am right and they are wrong?” I see Him with His finger on the big red buzzer. BZZZZTT! Wrong answer!

Forgiveness means I have to lay down my right and desire for personal justice, for personal vindication and exoneration. Sometimes God may grant these to us. Often (in my experience), He doesn’t, at least not in the overt way we might like. In the end, we have to lay all this desire down and allow God to be Judge. Only He knows all the details, all the heart motivations, not to mention the future and how it all ties into His plans, so only He can judge perfectly.

While we hold on to our own judgements about situations and people, we effectively “throw a spanner in the works”, at the very least in our personal journey and connection into His plans. If we want to see His perfect judgement at work, we need to lay down our own judgement (remembering that it will be by the same standards we will be judged – see Matt 7:1,2), which means forgiving:

“Not mine to punish, Lord, not mine to convict, not mine to determine the outcome and direction. I TRUST YOU to be the Righteous Judge and bring about Your judgements and outcomes in Your timing to maximise LIFE and because it will bring about Your purposes, just at the right time.”

The real kicker is, though, this is not something we can simply give intellectual assent to and move on. Unless we do the actual work of forgiveness, speaking it out, we will remain stuck. It can be tough, it can take time, and it can be a very real battle with our emotions - often it is an act of our will well before our emotions come along with us. To be the true Body of Christ, to be His pure Bride, though, we must shift out of the mentality of division and breaking unity, of holding on to our need or desire to be right over relationship, or we will not be able to partake in all that He has for us. But more on that soon!

(And if this is something that you struggle with in how to process it all, or just want someone to walk the journey of forgiveness with, please don’t hesitate to contact me. It would be my privilege to walk with you on this.)

A new commandment I give unto you: Thou shalt not offend me!

As many are aware, it seems that our language is being hijacked in a variety of ways. Certain words are being used to manipulate and control people, to corral us into a narrow set of acceptable behaviours and beliefs. In many ways, hard fought freedoms from constraints of one religion are being replaced by the constraints of another, albeit unnamed or recognised as such.

A couple of years back, the catch cry word was all about tolerance. There was a strong push from the media for everyone to be tolerant of others (particularly around certain agendas), with the most stupendous comment I heard being, “I’m intolerant of intolerant people”. To me, this demonstrated the whole problem of how this word was being used in a nutshell. The truth is, tolerance isn’t tolerance unless I am allowed to disagree with you.

More recently, we have upped the anti on this by adding a new commandment:

“Thou shall not offend me.”

And I have to say, lately offence seems to something of a disease, its contagion infecting many from every spectrum of society.

So the question is, when was the last time you found yourself getting offended? Or perhaps a better question is how often do you find yourself getting offended?

To make it a little clearer, feeling offended is usually that spark of anger rising up because of something someone else has said or done; the outrage or indignation that cries out, “How dare they!” It is that heightened sense of wrongness, that we may or may not acknowledge outright, which quickly takes over our thoughts and conversations.

Offence seems to be very much a go to for many of us at this time about a wide range of issues, be they personal or more global.

Right now, some would probably respond, “But I have a right to be offended! What “they” do/say is offensive!”

As much as it may be true that some behaviour is “outrageous” or even an offense in the strictest sense, our response of offense in return is far from helpful to us, though. In my own journey, offence was something that held me trapped for many years.

Offence creates a fence between you and me

Going back some time now, I lived with offense as a primary protection mechanism. Because I was quite insecure and my sense of self was lacking, getting “prickly” was a way of keeping myself feeling safe. Basically, if I wasn’t feeling safe, getting offended toward someone helped me keep my distance and make them the problem, not me. Cutting them out of my relationships seemed the best option.

Whether or not they were the problem is irrelevant in the long run (and let’s be honest here, sometimes it is the other person, but sometimes it is also “me”!). Even when someone does behave in a way that is truly offensive and hurtful,

my response is always my responsibility.

I have a choice of whether or not I want to carry the burden of offence.

And it is a burden, very closely related to unforgiveness. When I am carrying offense towards others, either individuals or those with differing beliefs or ideas of acceptable behaviours to me, I am setting up a barrier, like a wall or even “a fence” (pun intended) to create a division that says “like me: not like me”. The more people I have offence toward, the further that fence has to go, and I have to maintain it, watch it diligently (just like Mexico), or before you know it, there will be an invasion of those I find offensive. But suddenly, while I am busy keeping them out, building that wall, I will find myself trapped and alone in a cage all of my own making.

Offence creates division and disunity in our society.

The bottom line is, if I am not prepared to allow anyone to offend me in anyway, I can either not have relationship with anyone (because no one is perfect), or I will have strict protocols which will drive most people away.

The other aspect of offense is that it leaves me in a place where I never have to question my own behaviour or beliefs. This is perhaps the most dangerous characteristic. If I don’t allow you to have a different belief or idea to me, or behave in a different way, then my behaviour and beliefs are the only right ones. Anything else is offensive! I am safe here and no one is allowed to judge me or tell me otherwise. Again, a very lonely place.

So, what is the answer? People are broken, they do behave in offensive ways. How do I not live under this burden of offense and still be safe?

For me, this comes back again and again to my relationship with God. I have to find my identity, my sense of self in Him. Unfortunately, this requires something else difficult. Accountability, transparency, ruthless honesty about myself. I have to be prepared to come to Him with all my own brokenness, hurts and false beliefs and be prepared for Him to shift, mend, heal and change me. The good news is though, however painful this may seem at the time, on the other side is true freedom – not only from my own brokenness and pain, but it also helps me deal with the brokenness of others without causing them further damage.

Next time you feel that slippery hand of offense around your heart, squeezing you to the point of outrage, take it to Father God and ask Him: “What do You want me to do with this? What do You want to do in me? How do You want me to respond?” You might be surprised at His response.