Sour lemons

A number of years back, I had a dream I was looking for lemons on my lemon tree. To my astonishment, I suddenly found lemons the size and shape of footballs where there had been none. At the time, I felt God promising me a time of fruitfulness where I would be astounded by the size of the fruit that “suddenly” appeared.

Shortly after this dream, we moved that lemon tree into a different place in the garden. Over the past couple of years, we have been waiting for it to produce any fruit at all. Last year we got some flowers, but they never quite held on long enough to give us lemons. However, this year we SUDDENLY have a bumper crop of lemons growing on our tree, and guess what? Some are the shape of footballs! (Although not quite that big – but they are big.) Added to that, I am picking my second crop of raspberries and they are also enormous.

There are two things I am sensing from God in this.

The first is that a time of great harvest and great fruitfulness is coming. As you might recall, my word for this year is “abundance”. Well, we have definitely had abundant rain so far this year, and now, an abundance of lemons on the way! With a number of prophetic words that we are heading for a massive spiritual harvest in the next little while, I am taking this as an affirmation. The work of the past is about to bear fruit!

“Let us not become weary in doing good, for at the proper time we will reap a harvest if we do not give up.” (Gal 6:9)

And then I was thinking about the significance of lemons. Although I really like lemons and use them a great deal, they are not a fruit many people just peel and eat. Being sour, some people reject them completely. We have a saying when something is bad or useless, particularly around cars, that it is a bit of a “lemon” – it doesn’t do what it should very well. However, when lemons are combined with other ingredients, many delicious and health giving foods can be made: honey and lemon tea; so many lemon slice recipes; lemon and sugar on pancakes; lemon chicken – are you hungry yet?

It reminds me of the saying:

What do you do when life hands you lemons?

You make lemonade.

And then I remembered of a third aspect of lemons. Every now and then you get one that seems full of pips/seeds – the sign of new life! Every seed has the prospect of become a new lemon tree, which in turn may produce many more lemons, each with their own seeds, and so the cycle continues.

While many may feel we are in a time when “life” has handed us a truckload of lemons, we could see it as a time of great sourness. However, when we combine those lemons with the good God has already given us in terms of our other resources, time, energy and gifts and abilities, we are also being given an amazing opportunity to be producing a great deal of quality lemonade. And who knows how many seeds might come from them, too?

If you are not sure what to do with those things that potentially leave a sour taste in your mouth, the “lemons” you have at this time, ask God and dream big – you may be surprised at what He and you together can bring out of this time!

2020: It’s time to LEAP into ABUNDANCE

At the beginning of a new year, loss is not what we really want to focus on. However, loss is such a reality for many of us. Here in Australia, where much of our country is suffering crippling drought compounded by devastating bush fires, many are painfully aware of the experience of loss. Of course, we only have to flick on the news to realise that war, economic hardships, unrest, to name only some of the issues, leave few in our world untouched by encounters with loss.

When we live with enough profound and deep loss, though, it can threaten to become our identity. Like Naomi in the book of Ruth (my Bible just flipped open at this passage this morning!), we can decide to allow it to change how we see ourselves, our life and our future. We can believe that our life will never again be “pleasant” (the meaning of Naomi) and that we are destined to experience only “bitterness”. Just as Naomi asked to be called Marah, (which means bitter), we see this to be our lot for life.

In life, most people suffer terrible loss at some point. If you have, you understand the crippling, soul destroying vacuum that threatens to overwhelm all desire for living further – the inability to even hope that you might feel joy, or even peace, again. Loss and all its associated grief and pain can become a black hole in our being which seems as though it will swallow up all goodness and hope that may ever come our way for all our future. Indeed, it appears that it may well even have stolen our future, to the point we can see nothing ahead for us but continuing pain and bitterness.

In the past, as we have stepped into the new year, I have asked God for a word for the year ahead. Reflecting back, I can see they have been very accurate, although not necessarily in ways I expected or hoped.

At the beginning of 2017, the word was “resilience”. I remember well my disappointment with that one! Just as with learning patience, I knew resilience can only develop by going through tough times. As I look back through my blogs and journaling, I know that year did not produce many of the answers, breakthroughs and promises I was hoping to see. But woven through, I see the unwavering hand and love of my Father, drawing me deeper into Him, teaching me to focus more and more on Him and not my circumstances, building my faith and my ability to hold on to Him even when I don’t see the answers I want come to fruition. In the face of unrelenting disappointments and a lack of restitution of those losses we have felt God’s promise to restore, we have been learning the resilience to simply continue to stand when that is all we can do.

In 2018, to my excitement, “anticipation” popped into my consciousness. The desires of my heart that I was anticipating did not materialise, though. However, shifts have come in situations, relationships and the “bigger picture” I believe that God is more interested in. These have well answered (and continue to answer) the excitement of my anticipation.

This morning I was reminded to ask God if He had a word for me this year. As I put my knife into my nearly empty marmalade jar to scrape some out for my toast,

I felt Him whisper the word “abundance”.

Don’t you love His sense of irony!

Now, although I really like that word, there is a hesitation in my soul to be leaping in joy. So many hopes and promises we have been waiting on for years have not yet materialised. It does not quite feel safe to believe that I am hearing right.

Am I really hearing that? Or am I just making it up in my head because it is what I want?

I don’t want to set myself up for disappointment. After many years of feeling though we have been just getting by, continuously scraping the bottom of the barrel of our reserves (of energy, hope, finances, faith to name a few), the idea of abundance is even a little scary - it means letting go of mindsets that have become “normal”.

However, as I have been learning, it is so important that I don’t overlay this word with all I think it should mean.

I need to wait on Him to show me what abundance looks like in His realm; wait on Him for the abundance He wants to give me.

Which returns me to loss: surely the opposite of abundance.

What do we do with loss and how do we experience abundance when our losses seem irreplaceable?

First, for me, is the ever-deepening revelation of what God’s abundance is about.

On the surface, we can make abundance about material “stuff”: Prosperity in our goods and provisions and good times. At a slightly deeper level, we might make it about our relationships with family and friends, or even about opportunity to serve God.

However, I can’t help but reflect on this abundance through the lens of Matt 6:19-21

“Do not store up for yourselves treasures on earth, where moths and vermin destroy, and where thieves break in and steal. But store up for yourselves treasures in heaven, where moths and vermin do not destroy, and where thieves do not break in and steal. For where your treasure is, there your heart will be also.”

Much of what we consider to be abundance and provision from the Lord (which it is good to be grateful for), can become our mainstay: when we put our trust and value into these things, they become props to our sense of well being and safety.

It is only when we suffer the loss of them that we realise what poor gods they make.

So then, what sort of abundance from the Lord can we and should we rely on? What does He really promise?

Galatians 5:22-3 springs to mind:

“But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, forbearance, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control. Against such things there is no law.”

(If you read this in context of the rest of the passage, the message becomes even more plain. However, this is a blog, not a sermon!)

The obvious problem with stuff and even relationships is that we can suffer from the loss of them. There are times where we have no ability to control that loss. In our relationship with God, though, His word promises us that nothing can separate us from His love (Rom 8:39). By extension, that means no matter what loss we experience in the physical realm, we still have access to those fruit of the Spirit, in abundance.

I know that these sorts of words can seem exceptionally trite and even unfeeling in the face of loss. However, this is something I have personally and painfully experienced. There have been a number of losses for me over the years that have felt like they have broken my heart and destroyed my life and future. And I know am far from perfecting living out of these words to the contrary.

More lately, though, I have started to get a picture of what it is like as we set our faces like flint toward God. When we feel like the situation in Isaiah 50, where it seems as though everything and everyone is against us, as though the pain, loss and destruction will never end, we keep our eyes fixed on Jesus, the Author and Perfecter of our faith, (Heb 12:2). As we do this, in the picture I am seeing, the troubles and issues of this life become smaller and smaller and impact us less and less. Instead of our love, joy, peace, and hope coming from those things God provides us with, they come from Him directly. Nothing can separate us or sever that relationship unless we allow it (Rom 8:39).

A couple of years back, I was reading Psalm 23 in the Complete Jewish Bible. I didn’t get past the words “I lack nothing”. (Check out my blog on this here.) The landing point was that if I really believe this - that with God as my Shepherd I have no lack - I have to surrender the lack or loss I am experiencing to the Lord as well as all else.

Turning our faces toward 2020, we will only be able to receive and have space available for filling with all the abundance He promises as far as we commit to handing Him all those places of loss in our lives and our being that threaten to suck us dry and rob us of every good our Father has for us. (If you are not sure how to do this, it can be as simple as speaking it out loud, “Father God, I hand You all those places in me that have experienced loss. Please fill me afresh with Your abundance.”)

In the past weeks, I have been sitting with something I was sensing God was saying to me through my gazanias. (For those who don’t know, these are a flowering plant, as pictured here.)

The last six months or so, have found me energised to do much more work in my garden than in the past. There are places which have needed a complete start over and God has really been talking to me on a number of fronts through this (which may be another blog!).

As I have renovated my garden, though, it has included shifting some plants to fill spaces in different areas. My gazanias were one of those shifts.

These plants had been sitting in my garden doing very little for a number of years, despite the fact that they are known to be very resilient and prolific, both in growth and flowering. When I moved them, it was only a matter of a couple of metres distance, and I divided each plant in two.

Well! As we have SHIFTED into Summer, these plants have SHIFTED into overdrive. They have at least quadrupled in size and where in the past they may have produced maybe one or two flowers each year, this year they have been literally covered in flowers already, with more coming up behind. An overwhelming abundance!

What is different?

I can look at an obvious answer, that they are now getting that bit more sun compared to where they were. They are also not crowded out by weeds and other plants any more. Perhaps I have watered them more. However, the SHIFT was perhaps most important to them.

Like these plants, (who didn’t get a choice, but I believe they are happy with the choice I made!), sometimes

we have to allow God to SHIFT us if we want things to be different.

Saying we want to stay where we are and Him to move the sun and everything around us to give us “better growing conditions”, is probably not going to cut it with Him. In fact, when we start to dictate the conditions we want, we start to set ourselves up as god.

To allow the SHIFT to happen, though, we not only need to be prepared to let go of what we have and where we are, but also what we don’t have (our lack) and the pain and grief (and loss) of the past.

If you haven’t realised yet, 2020 is a LEAP year. As I have reflected on what this might look like, I keep getting a picture of a mountain goat LEAPING up onto and over boulder after boulder, higher and higher up a mountain, with great speed and agility. If you have ever seen how goats can jump, you will know that they can LEAP on and over obstacles that seem insurmountable. (Check them out on YouTube if you don’t know what I mean.)

I sense that this year, as we connect in with what God is doing

there is opportunity for us to LEAP up the mountain of obstacles that have held us back in the past, HIGHER and HIGHER in faith,

until the pain, grief and losses of the past are but distant memory. And here, we can experience the true abundance of His fruit, His love, peace and joy. However, we will not be able to do this holding onto our past losses, pain, grief, guilt, sadness and disappointments, to mention a few.

My encouragement:

Bring Him your empty marmalade jar, the yawning chasm of your losses and emptiness. As you lay them at the foot of the cross, consecrating and leaving them with Jesus, you create a different kind of space that He is more than willing and able to fill with His very great abundance.

“For this reason I kneel before the Father, from whom every family in heaven and on earth derives its name. I pray that out of his glorious riches he may strengthen you with power through his Spirit in your inner being, so that Christ may dwell in your hearts through faith. And I pray that you, being rooted and established in love, may have power, together with all the Lord’s holy people, to grasp how wide and long and high and deep is the love of Christ, and to know this love that surpasses knowledge—that you may be filled to the measure of all the fullness of God. Now to him who is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine, according to his power that is at work within us, to him be glory in the church and in Christ Jesus throughout all generations, for ever and ever! Amen.” Eph 3:14-21

For the places and spaces that lack

Adonai is my shepherd; I lack nothing.

Adonai is my shepherd; 

I LACK NOTHING

I LACK NOTHING!

I have been reading through the Psalms again lately, this time in The Complete Jewish Bible for a bit of variation. The other morning, I was up to Psalm 23, but I didn't get past the first line.

Just three words, but oh so blunt.

I LACK NOTHING.

Let those words pound into you the way they did me.

I LACK NOTHING

Perhaps your head is a little like mine and would like to skip ahead - yes, yes, we know that, Jehovah Jireh, my Provider and all that. We know God is good and provides all that we need. Maybe we have even experienced it in mighty and exciting ways.

But...

There is a little whisper in our hearts that says, "but..." and as we stop to listen, it gets louder, 

BUT...

What about my lack of confidence?

What about my lack of finances?

What about my lack of relationships?

What about my lack of energy?

My lack of health? My lack of peace? My lack of comfort and of joy?

My lack where promises lie unfulfilled?

What about all those spaces and places inside that are crying out because of lack?

As I have reflected on these questions I remember that so often, those places and spaces have lack because I hold them to myself, or because I try to use my strength, my wisdom, my ability to meet the lack.

What does it look like when I stop doing that, stop protecting myself in those spaces and places? 

I think it looks like surrender.

Not surrender to the enemy of my soul. Not the give up and lie down and die surrender of despair. But surrender that says, "I know I can't, so I am no longer going to try", and instead, goes to my Father, my Provider, and actually lays these places and spaces of lack down at His feet, very purposefully, and LEAVES THEM THERE. It is a surrender that says, "I WILL TRUST YOU", and is prepared to WAIT until He either fills the lack or exposes it for the lie it is and re-calibrates, re-purposes that space or place so it no longer has a lack.

I know for myself this has been a very real place this week. Your prayer, like mine, could start something like this: 

"Father God, I come to you and I lay this [xxx] down at your feet. Please help me to leave it there." 

You might even ask Him what He will give you instead, what He wants to fill that place or space with. For me, even though my circumstances didn't change, He did restore my peace and my joy.

Why not use the comments to share your experiences on this journey to encourage us all.

Prodigal Generosity

 "Don't be miserly, give them a proper watering!"

This was what I felt God was saying to me as I eked out a dribble of water on each plant I was trying to salvage recently. 

We were going through a hot dry spell, and although it was officially Autumn, someone forgot to tell Summer; the weather was set to be the longest hot dry spell we had had in months. 

Living on rain water as we do, it meant we were running to the end of our reserves. Although we are better off than millions of others in the world, as we can afford to buy water and can easily get it trucked in, it still grates on me a little. We don't live in a particularly dry area and I would like to be able to just use what we are given.

In all this, the garden was starting to look pretty sad. While I tend to be a pretty tough gardener - you don't survive in my garden if you need too much watering - there were plants I just didn't want to lose, so I had been watering a little more regularly.

I am aware that my minimalist watering can be quite ineffective. In some areas of our garden, the water just runs off the top; the soil is so dry that it takes a lot more water to get the water to soak in. As I reflected on these observations, the gentle nudge came from God, telling me to stop being stingy and water them properly, to stop worrying about the expense of buying water to refresh my garden. It just seemed so wasteful and extravagant to me - the plants are just for pleasure, just to look good. They can't be that important, can they?

And then we had a day that was really hot. It got to 40 degrees (C) on my way home. I stopped at the supermarket, and there were a few promising looking clouds around, but nothing that significant. The weather report had said there was a chance of some rain around the hills in the evening, and I had asked God if we could have some of that please, because my garden really needed it. 

I wasn't in the supermarket long, but when I came out, it was raining quite heavily. It felt so good, even though it was still very hot, and there was that wonderful smell that comes with rain after a hot dry spell, along with the sense of the soul being watered as much as the land. 

As I drove the fifteen minutes to home, up into the hills, the temperature dropped from 40 down to 32, then by the time I got to the end of the suburbs, it was down to 23. The rain was heavy enough to start to run off the road. I was only about 5 kilometres from home. Surely we were getting some of this. My daughter rang to find out when I would be home and told me that it was all blue skies and hot and home. No sign of any rain.

I felt pretty disappointed. We did eventually get a few smatterings, but barely enough to register, let alone revive my garden. What was going on? What was God trying to say to me in this? Why didn't He answer my prayer the way I wanted?

So I had a chat with Him. Why did we miss out? I know it is not the end of the world, it is not that big a deal, but it is easy for Him to give abundantly where He pleases. 

And suddenly it got a little more challenging.

I was reminded of a few things. One was a verse: "Give and it will be given to you...For with the measure you use, it will be measured to you." (Luke 6:38). Along with this was the oft recited story of the person walking in the desert, nearly dead of thirst, who finally came across an old pump. At the pump was a jug of water and a note. It said that you had to use the water that was there to prime the pump, and then it would produce as much sweet, fresh water as you wanted. There was also a reminder to leave a jug of water for the next person. One moral to this story is that you have to relinquish what you have in your hand sometimes before you can get what you really need, but it is a step of faith.

The third was the story of Elijah and the widow at Zarephath (1Kings 17). There was a severe drought, and she had enough food left for her and her son to have their last meal.  Elijah challenged her to share, with a promise that God would provide for her until the rains came again. Very like the pump story: are you prepared to give away what you have on the promise alone of more?

Jesus observed and commended the widow who gave two small coins in the temple, stating that her giving was worth more than those who give from their abundance. While she gave from a position of poverty, not a position of plenty, she gave from a position of faith that her needs would be supplied, even as she gave the little she had.

I have been learning that God's generosity goes way beyond the sensible or rational, way beyond what I think I deserve or is enough. He gives and keeps on giving, even when we don't show gratitude or appreciation, even when we squander what is given. When we look at the example of the father toward the son who wasted his inheritance in the story of the Prodigal Son, we see a picture of Father God who pours out His abundance regardless of our response.

He is prodigal in His generosity.

If I am to reflect Him, His glory and goodness, I need to be generous in the same way.

The question is, when I don't feel like I have much, do I hold back, waiting until I have plenty before I give generously (whether that be money, food, goods, or time!), or do I give in trust that God is generous, that He will continue to give me more as I need? Do I trust in what I have already been provided with, or do I trust in the further provision, in the Provider? Am I holding on so tightly to what I have that don't have spare hands to receive the next installment?

Am I as generous with my little as I am with my abundance?

Are You a Squanderer?

Have you ever got one of those emails telling you there is a huge inheritance waiting for you?

You know, the one that tells you that some person with the same surname as you has died, and because there are no living relatives to claim the estate, you can claim it yourself. 

All you need to do is send me few thousand dollars, and I will start the legal process to make a claim on your behalf.

Yep, sure thing!

I guess this sort of thing must work at least sometimes. Perhaps it taps into the hope many of us have: maybe someone, (not too close to me so I don't have to grieve too much) will fall off the perch and will leave me a fortune that will answer all my money woes and let me live in the lap of luxury.

There have been a number of times I have actually been on the receiving end of a financial inheritance, though.

The most interesting one would have to be from my great-aunt, who died when I was still a baby. She left a small amount of money to all her female relatives - she had no children of her own. This was held in trust until I was twenty-one, or could be used at my parent's discretion. The stipulation was that it was to be used to enable me, as a woman, to do or achieve something I otherwise could not. 

For my great-aunt, the inheritance was not just about the money. Growing up in the early 1900's she was fortunate to have a father who believed that girls should be educated just as much as boys. All his daughters went to university, and my great-aunt followed her father's footsteps, becoming a doctor. In fact, she was one of the first women doctors in Adelaide.

It wasn't until recently that I realised another aspect of this legacy. I had always taken it for granted that I was given the same opportunity in education as my brothers. The fact that my father expected me to study sciences and maths (as he did my brothers - the only subjects worth learning!), was harder to appreciate, though!

My father died well over ten years ago now, but I well remember his funeral. It was a very difficult day as our relationship with him had been strained. However, I felt that I wanted to honour my father anyway. Looking back, there were so many aspects of our family life that were part of our inheritance from him.

These ranged from a sense of adventure to the way we were expected to treat others and behave, and even to our Christian faith. Among many others, they were all values he planted in his family.

There is a story Jesus told about inheritance that many are aware of.  We call it the parable of the Prodigal Son. The various aspects of this parable have been explored unendingly, but here are a few pertinent thoughts.

The most obvious is about the young son.

In asking for his inheritance, he was basically wishing his dad was dead. He saw no value in his relationship with his father past the money. When he got it, the Storyteller says, he went off and squandered his inheritance on wild living. 

In the end, he really didn't even value the money.

When he returns to his father, we are given a glimpse of his older brother.

This older brother was pretty upset with the father's lavish acceptance of the squanderer. However, I don't think he really understood what his inheritance was either. He accuses his father of not giving him anything, while spoiling his brother. However, his father reminds him that he was able to enjoy everything the father had as his own, at any time.

This topic of inheritance is addressed many other times throughout the Bible. One of my favourites is the promise of our inheritance through Jesus. It includes being able to see clearly, healing of our bodies and souls, and probably my favourite: our freedom. In other places, we are told we inherit the Kingdom of God, which is all these things and more.

Can we be guilty of squandering our inheritance?

Do we, like the younger son, fail to truly value the healing and freedom that has been given to us? Do we waste God's provision for us on self-indulgence and self-gratification?

Or like the older son, are we failing to even realise or connect with the fact that healing, freedom and provision are already ours? Have we failed to access our birthright? 

What is it you value most in your inheritance?